Tag: poem

Keep On Living & Moving Forward

Sometimes grief hits us like a tidal wave. Well… sometimes that is how it feels to me because sometimes it just hits us out of nowhere. This post is all about moving on from that grief. Sometimes all we can do is to just keep on living and moving forward without that person. It could be losing someone literally or figuratively. We have to come to realize that the world just keeps moving forward, which brings me to my first quote of this post. “The world moves on with or without you.” I know that sounds harsh, but it is the honest truth. Whether we realize it or not the world just keeps moving and turning. Sometimes we cannot stop for anything, including grief.

Sometimes it hurts because you thought that person was going to be around for the long haul, but something happened and all of a sudden you are left to move and walk forward without them. In some way you have to let go of them. That brings me to my next quote. “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” That is the sad truth about life. It is not all perfect, but we still have to move forward with our lives. Sometimes that person is still right alongside you even if they are not physically here with you and sometimes it is okay to walk alone. They would want you to keep moving forward, even if it was without them.

I know that this post is all over the place, but I want to conclude my talking a little bit about my poem that goes along with the theme of this post. The below poem is inspired by the following quote (which turns out to be a part of a poem written by Pablo Neruda). He says, “My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping but I shall go on living.” The line is very similar to a line from his poem “The Dead Woman.” I submitted this poem for a competition I took part in on DUP called “From Our Differences In Life And Death Is Born Love Eternal” and it won first place. There was a video (click here to view it) that inspired this poem too. I hope that you all enjoy it!

Steps Forward (Without You)

It is hard imaging you not being here
Right now, but for both of us I have to
Walk towards a better tomorrow, one
Foot in front of the other like you have

Always taught me. You always steer
Me, not in the direction where you
Were laid to rest, but where the sun
Still shines the brightest. Your valve

And battery decided to give up, but
I will keep living. I will keep thriving if
It means I can still remember you and
Your smiles. I never knew it was love

Until I saw your eyes and in this rut
You held me as the edges of the cliff
Became sharper. As we held hands
That night I knew it was the dove

Who delivered its message. “Keep
Moving forward darling. I know that
You are tired and you do not want
To move on without me, but I am still

Here in the breath you inhale deeply
Into your lungs. I am still in the flat
Curve of your laughter. Ghosts haunt
You, but I still keep you safe. The thrill

And yell escaping your mouth shows
That I am alongside you on this roller
Coaster ride. Do not lose those west
Coast vibes I fell in love with when we

First met or easy smiles as time slows
Down for our magical kiss. The solar
Eclipse got nothing on the stars winking
At us night after night. We were sinking

Our feet into the soft earth, getting lost
In the steady heartbeat of the world.”
We were programmed, but at what cost?
To feel nothing, but I felt it as you curled

Up against my chest looking at me like
I had all the answers and the cure. I did
Not know that it was your last strike
Of the game. Life came to a quick skid

And halt after your last breath, but I just
Knew that to honor your memory I had
To keep pushing on. You laid the trust
And happiness in me so I am not sad.

Last Day

I have always wondered what we would all do or remember on our last day. I would think we would remember all the good things and everything we did. I feel like when it is our time to go it is really time to go which leads me into my first quote of this post which says exactly that. Ronnie Van Zant says, “If it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.” Sometimes it is as simple as that. We should not spend our last days holding onto regrets of what we did not do because we should just enjoy our last day instead of worrying. We remember all the people we loved and the adventures we had along the way. One of the comments I got on this piece when I posted it to DUP was “It’s really interesting what specific memories or moments of life that are dearest to us and what we take with us when we eventually all cross to the other side.” We hold certain memories close to us.

We think to ourselves of what we would do with our last days. I keep repeating myself, I know, but this subject is very important. We can keep saying that we do not and should not care about what we do in our last days, but think of it this way. I think Steve Jobs says it perfectly. “If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll be right. Every morning I looked in the mirror and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I do today?” In other words tomorrow is not promised and would we happy with what we are doing now? It really would make me think long and hard about if I am happy of where my life is right now if I were to die tomorrow.

I do not want to keep this piece super long, but I want to conclude with a quote by Paulo Coelho who says, “It’s best to live as if it were the first and last day of my life.” So in other words live each day as if it could be the first and last day if that makes sense at all. We get too worried when our time comes and we do not live in that moment. We get too caught up in a love we did not have and in the bad memories. I just want people to remember all the good things. I would want people to be remembered in a good way. This poem focuses on all the good aspects of living our last days. This featured poem won runner up for a competition on DUP. I hope all my readers enjoy this poem!!! Cheers.

My Last Day

As a new morning and the day is breaking
On the far horizon will you remember me?
I hope you do not forget me my darling as
I know my time on this big earth is coming

To an end and I am free from the aching
Pain. I am drifting closer to the vast sea’s
Shoreline. I am following the tiny compass
As I could hear the monotonous humming

And I feel way closer to home. I know that
We will be reunited some day as the days
And the nights are filled with promises or
Dreams. In these final moments it is just

Us as we are lying on our backs on the flat
Rooftop, looking at the stars as the rays
Of sunshine are gone. We cannot ignore
That this is what built our love and trust.

I know this is what forever is supposed to
Be like. Being here in this moment with
You is all I ever wanted, but god is calling
My name as he beckons me to the white

Heavens. I paint my name across the blue
Sky as you smile, thinking of me. A myth
I formulated in my head about crawling
On all fours to be able to survive or fight

Is fading into the background as I did all
I could to feel fulfilled so I do not depart
With regrets. I said I would never leave
You so I am staying right here as the sun

Rises the next day. Down all the hallways
You can still hear my voice. In your heart
You can still feel my presence. You grieve
My absence with your hand on the gun,

Loaded with enough ammunition to feel
At peace, but I vow that we will see each
Each other again when it is your turn next,
But god is not yet ready to watch you exit

Stage left. Darling, you are made of steel,
Ready to withstand any storm. You preach
All positivity as your world, so perplexing
And messy was falling apart. Feel velvet

Within your hands because that is what
You were to me, softness in a world filled
With rough edges. Your smile is always so
Radiant as it is something I will remember

You by as my darling, you are a clear cut
Above the rest. Our love that was killed
Before it could grow into full bloom or flow
Into existence came back with its ember.

One Source of Inspiration: Demi Lovato

I know that I have talked about one of my personal heroes. In fact I think part of the reason why I started this blog was because of her. So if you have been following Messy Ties since day 1 you all know how I feel about her. At the time when I started this blog I also started to read her book Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year. It was a great book. I have also seen her in concert and it was by far one of my favorite concerts. It is also the first and only concert (so far) that I have seen solo. The one thing I really appreciate about Demi is being open and honest about her personal struggles. I also find her to be a more reliable role model than most girls in my generation. I did not have some of the same struggles as her, but at the same time I knew some of the stuff she has gone through. Just listening to her music is inspiring and can sometimes even be therapeutic.

I can go on and on about Demi, but I will let this poem speak for itself. This is for Demi, may you continue to be a source of inspiration not only for me, but for other girls and others who are struggling. You are amazing in every way whether you realize it or not. I will conclude with one quote by Demi. She says, “I have come to realize that just making yourself happy is most important. Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy. That’s my life motto.” So in other words, do what is best for yourself at the end of the day and you are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel. With Demi’s birthday right around the corner I thought it would be an appropiate time to post this. Happy (early) birthday Demi!! I will continue to be inspired by you every single day. P. S. The poem down below is for a competition I was a part of back in May/June called “Tortured Souls” and I ended up winning. This poem is for all the girls out there who continue to struggle. As Demi would say, you are not alone.

Photo from http://www.picslyrics.net/lyrics/demi-lovato-heart-attack.html?row_id=88437

To Demi – The Warrior Queen

Like a skyscraper that emerges from the dust
You come completely from the ground up.
The hurtful words and pain may dig into your
Skin like tattoos or scars, but never combust
Into smaller pieces, hoping you can be a cup
That is empty. Demi, you are constantly at war

With yourself in the hopes of being perfect like
Everyone else, wanting to be skinny and pretty,
But don’t you know you are perfect like a gem?
You may think you are down to your last strike
Of the game, longing for its close, but the city
Lights still shine for you. As you crave mayhem,

Alcohol and drugs in order to numb all the pain
Within your soul, I know the girl that desired to
Be loved again. You taught me to see the world
Through new eyes because through all the rain
Soaked windows there is the bright hope you
Prayed for every day and night. Your furled

Secrets and insecurities lay buried so no one
Can take them or use them against you. I see
You waiting in the shadows with smiles and
That are just a show or fake. You try to run
Away from the underlying truth. I would see
Parts of you in me. I wished to take your hand

And show you that you are only human, not
Superhuman. You tried to love yourself
And everyone else too like you have never
Been broken before, but you already forgot
You have been broken. You are compelled
To hide yourself so no one sees you as clever

Or kindhearted and no one sees your gentle
Or soft side. I see the girl with the warrior
Exterior and who holds in her tears so she is
Not seen as weak or vulnerable. Your mental
Capabilities of coping are slipping. A corridor
In your heart opens. I feel it rising and fizzing

To the surface. I feel our spirits connecting on
A level no one could pretend to comprehend.
We let all our past memories fade and be gone.
We both know that this will never be the end.

Where I Bloom & Come From

I have really taken the time to reflect on where I bloom and come from both personally and as a poet. I have to say that I have come far. I think for both they have changed for the better. When I look up bloom on the dictionary one of the definitions is the following: “to flourish or thrive” (from dictionary.com). Or it could mean the following as well. “Bloom (noun): A beautiful process of becoming.” Either one of those definitions is correct in my mind. However, blooming is not always a beautiful process I feel like because sometimes it can be downright messy, but still you are becoming someone or something. That is what blooming is all about and at the same time you do not forget where you come from. I think this next quote by Jacqueline Woodson sums up my writing and poetry perfectly. She says, “My writing is inspired by where I come from, where I am today, and where I hope to go some day.” So in other words, my writing is an essential part of who I am and where I want to go some day in the future.

We all bloom for a reason, even if there is rough patches along the way. That brings me to my next quote. “Flowers do not bloom without a little rain. Everything has its purpose, even pain.” It is like what I was saying before about everything having a purpose and reason. A lot of time there is purpose to rain and something that is painful. Some of my work and poetry blooms or comes from a place of hurt and pain. There are a lot of incidences in which I came from a place of being broken or torn or angry or sad or upset or whatever emotion I am feeling, but my poetry has saved me time and time again. I tend to bloom I feel like from everywhere including places other people tend to overlook like the pain and something that might feel uncomfortable. That brings me to my next quote. “When you’re in a dark place, you sometimes tend to think you’ve been buried. Perhaps you’ve been planted. Bloom.” In other words, bloom from where you have been planted.

It is the best feeling in the world when you can look back and see how far you have come. I feel like blooming is a sign of growth. You bloom to grow and literally blossom. It takes strength and courage to grow, blossom and bloom. A lot of the time we tend to grow or bloom in unknown places. That brings me to my next quote by E.V., which says, “Like wildflowers; you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people never though you would.” So in other words, grow in places people would never expect from you. Yes, they will be surprised, but it is okay for things to be different. If we were all the same as we were before then we would not be growing or blooming very much at all. I know that this is a super long post, but thank you for hanging in with me. I hope that my readers take the time to really reflect on where they bloom or come from because that is something VERY important. I hope that you enjoy the following poem about my own blooming process. Cheers!!!!

Where I Bloom From

I bloom from all the cracks in the sidewalk
And where people step all over me, but do
Not take the time to admire the little things.

I bloom from the imperfections people balk
At and are too scared to see. I bloom into
Words flowers are jealous of. One springs

And blooms from all the light, but I bloom
From the darkness too. I bloom from the ash
As it led me to have new skin, hope, and life.

I bloom from a sacred and protective womb.
I bloom from the choices that left me to crash
And burn, but allowed me to learn in strife.

I bloom from the words, torn and tattered,
But yet it is poetry that becomes my savior
When I still would have been too broken or

Hurt to move on. I bloom from the splattered
Messes. I bloom from my success and failures.
Lastly, I bloom from everything people ignore.

HOPE

Hope… it is one of those words, that stands out, especially during these weird and strange times of the Corona virus. We all hope, it is in our human nature. It allows us to have some positivity in this crazy world. I will dive right into the first quote of this post by Desmond Tutu. He says, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” So in other words, hope is something that shines bright like the light despite the darkness that surrounds it. When at least one person has hope it makes the people around have hope as well and I honestly think that makes the world a better place. I would hate to bring more negativity into this world when we already have so much in this world like death, Coronavirus, war, global warming, etc. We all have to be a guiding light like a lighthouse for example. That brings me to my next quote by Jennifer Gayle. She says, “Be a guiding light, a safe harbor, a beacon of hope, and a solid foundation for those around you.” In other words, become a beacon of hope not only for yourself, but for those around you. You have no idea who is watching you and you always want be that kind of inspiration for others to follow.

It is like what I said before because if we become a beacon of hope it will encourage others to do the same. People should be able to see that beacon of hope on the horizon. It shows us that there is possibility despite everything that has happened in the past. We just have to keep pushing and going towards that light of hope. This is why I am encouraging my readers and everyone else to really be that light and hope because we all really need it! I want to conclude this post with one final quote by Eleanor Roosevelt (one of my personal heroes) who says, “Surely, in the light of history, it is more intelligent to hope rather than to fear, to try rather than not to try. For one thing we know beyond all doubt: nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says: it can’t be done.” In other words, it would be wiser to have hope rather than fear and to try rather than not trying. We should also not listen to those who say that it can’t be done. Hope is the one thing that can get us through the bad times. I hope that my readers hang onto that hope really tightly. We will all get through these weird and strange times I promise! It may take time, but we will get there. I also want to take the time to wish my mom and all the mothers out there a happy Mother’s Day! I love you mama and I am lucky enough to have not only one mother, but 2. Happy Mother’s Day to my second mom, Susan!!

Visual poem titled “HOPE.” Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash.
Visual poem titled “Beacon of Hope.” Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash.

Never Give Up & Keep Trying

I wanted to post this with everything else that is going on in this world. I know it is hard to stop trying or to give up altogether, but we cannot get to that point. Yes, we do fail many times, but we cannot let that stop us from still trying. If my readers want to see an inspirational video about this topic click here (maybe once you are done with reading this post and poem/song). Growing up I thought I wanted to be an actress. When I went to college I majored in Theatre-Arts with a focus in acting because that is what I always wanted to do. I was always one of those people who constantly heard no, especially for job interviews or for auditions. In hindsight, maybe they were not the right fit for me. I remember one time I did not get into a play that I auditioned for or maybe I chose not to audition for it, I cannot remember. But I ran into a friend who ended up getting in and he said that he’s so glad I was not a part of it because it ended up not going well at all. That leads me to my first quote of this post by Jay Ellis and this one goes out to my fellow actors and actresses or anyone who has to go out for auditions. It could be for a job interview as well. He says, “When you go out and audition, you’re going to hear a lot of ‘No’s.’ As weird as it may sound, you almost have to love hearing ‘no’ because you’re going to hear it way more than you hear ‘yes’.” So in other words you have to get used to hearing no instead of yes a lot of the time. It hurts, but it is the honest truth.

I remember I sent in a job application for a summer job that I was really excited about. I felt defeated after they told me no. I remember I told my parents and my dad responded with “Bummer. Add it to your collection and post it when you are a huge success! Make them sorry.” I had to chuckle a little bit at my dad’s text (I took a screenshot of that text and still have it saved on my phone), but my dad was so right. I did not and should not let that get in the way of applying for more jobs. I think all those nos lead to a better yes later down the road. My point is this, do not be afraid to try. As scary at is to try it may become much worse if we do not try. That leads me to my next quote of this post. “Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.” In other words, do not be afraid of failure because we all experience failure, even the most successful people in this world have failed countless of times and we should be more afraid of not trying. When you do not give up and keep trying goes hand in hand. In fact, those are just some of the thing we can do to live a full life. That leads me into this next quote by Roy Bennett who says, “There are five important things for living a successful and and fulfilling life: never stop dreaming, never stop believing, never give up, never stop trying, and never stop learning.” Those five things are crucial, especially never stop trying and and never stop giving up, especially to make a point in this post.

I want to conclude with one last and final quote from one of my favorites, Shel Silverstein. He was the one who wrote “Where the Sidewalk Ends,” “The Giving Tree and some others that I really like. If you have not read any of his work you definitely should, especially “The Giving Tree” because although it is sad it teaches a valuable lesson. Anyways this is what he says. “Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” In other words, there are so many possibilities despite all the nos and you can never let any of that stop you ever!! You never know what is on the horizon, especially if it is something better than you could possibly imagine. The below poem is supposed to be song lyrics, but I have not quite gotten to it to that place. Stay tuned in because at some point I may actually turn it into a song, you never know. But to my readers, I encourage you to keep your heads up and never give up! Cheers! I am rooting for each and every one of you.

Keep Trying

You lost your pieces trying to fix or save
Someone else and when you looked in
The mirror you are never too happy with
What you see. Baby I know that you gave
Your love, trust and it never felt like a win.
Trying is something you imagine like a myth

And do not let that keep you from giving up
Because when you are thinking that your cup
Is half empty it is really half full. You have so
Much to offer the world. Your smile and glow
Are your secret weapons. Never let the world
Take it away from you. Your toes are curled
Up in happiness as you shout it out to anyone
Who is listening, I am trying and I am not done!

With every twist and turn you are heading
Down a road with no way to go, but up and
Ahead. In your mind it was never about any
Of the fame or fortune, but about shedding
Layers that weighed heavy. Every no stands
In the way. You realized that there are many

And do not let that keep you from giving up
Because when you are thinking that your cup
Is half empty it is really half full. You have so
Much to offer the world. Your smile and glow
Are your secret weapons. Never let the world
Take it away from you. Your toes are curled
Up in happiness as you shout it out to anyone
Who is listening, I am trying and I am not done!

Louise Glück Tribute

I am continuing my tribute posts to specific poets/writers I feel like deserve it and this one is no different. This one is dedicated to Louise Glück who is one of those writers who has been around for a while, but I recently discovered her after contributing to a competition on DUP in her honor. The other thing I am doing with these tribute posts is that I am posting them as close as I can to their birthdays. It helps honor them in a certain way. Glück’s birthday is April 22nd. This piece that I wrote is based on one of her most prolific pieces “Afterword” (here is the link for that piece). And for this piece I received runner up. Here it is and I hope that you enjoy reading it!!

Afterthought (Inspired by Louise Glück)

The blank pages and canvas in front of me  
Remain barren and empty. Why? Maybe  
I no longer feel any of the inspiration and  
blood flowing through my veins like they  
once did before. Maybe my voice chose  
to give out. All I can do is hope for the rose  
to start blooming again and for a miracle  
to take me back to the empty roads where  
I felt most at home. Even the changes in  
scenery did not ease my mind anymore.  

All I can think about is the world that tears  
apart at the seams. But no one seems to  
care about the darkness or shadows that  
creep in. They want to read about light  
and happiness. Death happens every day  
yet we choose to ignore it like the warning  
signs for a pending storm. We ignore the  
pain for a moment as the loss finally kicks  
in and we scramble to find the pieces. The  
pages and canvas start swaying side to side  
like a car that stops following the paved road. 

Is there an answer in the wind? Maybe hope  
is on the horizon. Maybe all the answers lay  
hidden in how I hold the pen or paintbrush.  

The inspiration could come back as the chaos 
and clutter finally depart like an airplane that  
is ready for takeoff. We were once all children 
who never had to worry about explaining our  
failures or disappointments in both life and    
love to anyone. We never had to worry about  
life’s afterthoughts. How I wish we can all be  
explorers again as the foliage becomes vibrant.  

As we grew older nothing made sense anymore  
and nothing was as important as the closed door.

Surviving Rock Bottom

We are about three months into the new year of 2020 and we have all already gone through so much. Especially with the Coronavirus going around. I know I have talked about when we hit rock bottom. A lot of the time it is hitting rock bottom and then getting back from rock bottom. In other words, it is how we survive rock bottom. If we can survive rock bottom then I feel like we can survive anything else life throws our way. First of all for those of you who do not know what rock bottom is, here is the definition from dictionary.com. “at the lowest possible limit or level; extremely low.” So in other words, rock bottom would be the lowest as one can go. You cannot go any further down. Once you hit rock bottom I do not think anything in life can scare you. That brings me to my first quote of this post. “When you hit rock bottom and survive, nothing can scare you.” I feel like rock bottom is the scariest thing one person can face.

Some people say that hitting rock bottom is one of the worst places to be, but it can also be a beautiful place to be because it gives you a chance to start over. It could be one of the worst things to happen or you can have it be one of the best things to happen to you. That brings me to my next quote. “Rock bottom is a beautiful start.” Rock bottom gives you a new start in life. Some people do not survive rock bottom, but some people do and there is some beauty in surviving rock bottom. We made the decision to not be at rock bottom again. It is like we needed the wake up call. I feel like this next quote by Christine Evangelou can explain it a little bit better. She says, “When you feel like you have been hit, dig deep and hit back. Rock bottom is not your end; it is your beginning.” In other words, do not think of rock bottom as the place where you end, but where you begin. It is like you are being reborn all over again.

There were some times in which I was hitting rock bottom emotionally and physically especially. I was not liking the person I was becoming. It is like we become someone we do not recognize anymore. I think in that moment I had to take a reality check and had to cut someone out of my life who was beginning to bring me down. Hitting rock bottom is not always easy to recognize and it can be hard pulling ourselves from rock bottom, but a lot of the time it has to be done. We do not do it for other people. We HAVE to do it for ourselves. It is like we are choosing ourselves and our mental health over anything unhealthy or toxic. We take rock bottom and we rebuild. That brings me into my next quote by J. K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter. She says, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” In other words, we use that rock bottom to rebuild our lives from the ground up.

The following poem is dedicated to those who not only hit rock bottom, but were also able to survive rock bottom. Hitting rock bottom is when we really become appreciative and thankful. That is what the next quote is all about. “rock bottom, Thank you for showing me I am meant to do more than just survive. Thank you for showing me I am worthy of living.” Like I said before, this poem is dedicated to those who are survivors of hitting rock bottom. You are the real heroes because that takes a lot of courage. Once you have hit rock bottom the only thing to do is to go up. I want to conclude with one more quote. I am a positive person so I want to end on a positive note. This next quote says, “When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.” That echoes at least one of the comments I got when I posted the original poem on DUP. Wally says, “It’s insightful as to your past and where strength comes from when one has hit rock bottom because up is the only way to go.” So on that note, I hope everyone who hits rock bottom and survives will be able to go up instead of down further. The quote that comes right after the poem is one that I am beginning to hold close to my heart and sums it up quote perfectly. Thank you and cheers!!

Surviving Rock Bottom

I knew I hit rock bottom when I sat there
And I could never defend the man I loved
Anymore, not even to my best friend or

Anyone else. I promised and would swear
To myself I would never put anyone above
Me or my health. I was choosing to ignore

Everything he put me through including
The pain and sleepless nights. He did not
See the tears I kept from him. He only saw

Me as happy until I felt like I was losing
Everything I once knew like love. The knot
Remained and in the end the final straw

Was him not caring. It did not matter until
I walked away he realized it was a battle
That he would no longer win. I could have

Chosen to be bitter or shut down the spill
Of feelings or emotions, but in the saddle
I went again and my heart’s main valve

Still got cut wide open when I decided to
Move on and try to love again. This time
The pain was worse than before. Rock

Bottom was home until the sky was blue
Again and I could breathe. The rhyme
In life made sense as I am able to walk

On a path I created. Those people came
Into my life to not to necessarily heal me,
But to love, to make and break me apart

Until I became the person I was ashamed
Of. Some people bring chaos from the sea
And some came to bring me a new start.

So yes, pain ebbs and flows, but even as it
Has brung me to my knees and as I really
Began to wonder if I can continue this life

In happiness, in my veins and in every bit
Of my soul I truly carry on like a rose or lily
Blooming again after being cut by a knife.

“Life doesn’t give You the people you want, It gives you The people you need: To love you, To hate you, To make you, To break you, And to make you the person you Were meant to be.” – Walt Whitman

Forbidden Love

I have talked about love before and I wanted to post something about love since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Everyone who knows me knows how I feel about Valentine’s Day (not my favorite holiday). I want to focus on a different kind of love in this post. Forbidden love. I feel like forbidden love is something among the lines of loving someone you are not supposed to be loving. Like someone you are loving from afar and cannot tell anyone about. It is like holding onto a secret. We think of forbidden love like Romeo and Juliet. It is one of those weird and twisted feeling. I think this quote by Pen soul in some ways sums it up. “Falling in forbidden love is beautiful in a weird way, like those doodles in the last page of my notebook, only I can feel, interpret and understand that blissful mess.” In other words, forbidden love is something that person can only try to understand. Nobody else can truly understand it better than that one person can.

A lot of the time this love can leave you hurt, scarred and feeling hallow. It is like what Roy Orbison says. He says, “Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and mars.” Sometimes we do not want that kind of love because if love hurts like that then it is not always worth it, especially if it leaves you hurt all the time. But it is also the type of love that teaches us all something. Yes, it hurts and it feels so wrong, but it is the greatest lesson we can learn. Which is my point about this forbidden love thing. I want to conclude with one final quote and I think this explains what I have been saying. “The worst feeling in the world is when you know that you both love each other but still you just can’t be together.” That feeling is the worst feeling and that is what forbidden love is. It is the fact that even if you love each other you cannot be together. Anyways, here is a poem that I wrote about forbidden love. Enjoy!!

Our Forbidden Love

I loved you, but I would never tell  
The world including you because  
Although we were lovers there  

Was nothing else. My heart swelled  
With so much hatred because claws  
Scratched me and I could not swear  

To tell you that I was bleeding from  
The pain. I could never tell you that  
I was tired from loving the wrong  

Person who only showed their warm  
Smile, but never the war or combat  
They face every day. I was the song  

That cheered you up and the place  
You went to when you needed to  
De-stress from the world. It was our  

Secret as my fingertips would trace  
Every inch of your skin. Me and you  
Were once safe in our morning hour,  

Laying against your chest, hearing  
Your heartbeat, but we both already  
Knew that we could not stay. But  

Instead we were looking or peering  
Into something that was unsteady  
Like an old house without its guts  

Or foundation to stand on. We were  
An empty house that had no love  
Left. We were drowning in the sea  

And its cascading waves. The blur  
Of tears were too much. Like a dove  
We were flying too close and we  

Burned, but could never survive or  
Escape the feeling that this love was  
Forbidden or felt like a wrong turn.  

It was something I could not ignore.  
It was our last night when the buzzed  
Feeling wore off. I no longer yearned  

For something that left me so hollow.  
It was a hard pill for me to swallow.

Vision 2020

The title of this post says it all, but in case if you are not able to catch onto my meaning I will explain it all. For my other job that I do remotely now that I moved to another state one of my projects was finding the annual theme for 2020. Surprise, surprise! The theme is Perfect Vision: Seeing Through a Spiritual Lens.” 2020 = perfect vision. The following comes from unity.org

We’ve been told that 20-20 vision is perfect, but for the year 2020, let’s expand the definition. Perfect vision has nothing to do with how far our eyes can focus without assistance. It’s all in how we see the world. People who wear rose-colored glasses see only the good in people and circumstances. Those with a gloomy outlook are focused on what might go wrong. We all see the world through a particular lens, and we can choose what it is. The annual theme for Unity in 2020—”Perfect Vision: Seeing Through a Spiritual Lens”—reminds us of those choices. “

from unity.org

I hope people get what I mean now. I figured this would be a great time to still post about this since we are still within the first month of the new year and 2020. With every new year we have to forget our problems from the previous year, especially for 2020. For some reason I feel like we need to leave things behind that make our vision blurry. That is why I like this quote. It says, “Do not start 2020 with 2019 problems.” And I have to agree because what if those problems are the problems and maybe that is why our vision is blurry? I hope that makes sense.

On the other hand we can have sight, but no vision and I think that there is a difference as Robert Kiyosaki says. He says, “Sight is what you see with your eyes, vision is what you see with your mind.” So the main difference is that one uses the eyes and the other uses the mind. Helen Keller says that there is a danger to having one, but not the other. She says, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” That is the truth because as I said before there is no way to have one or the other. It really does not matter what we see with our eyes it is how we see the world. 2019 has been crappy for a lot of people, but lets hope 2020 is a lot better for people because there is so much more we can learn from. 2020 is as what the poem says below… it is a redemption shot or another chance. I hope that you enjoy the poem below. Happy reading!!!!

Into 2020

She is walking as if she is someone brand new,
But she never forgets the lessons that she has
Learned in the past years. “Paint your sky blue,”
People say, but when she paints it with topaz,

Indigo or purple, they think she is taking a big
Risk, but isn’t that what life is all about? As she
Takes the vast world and crushes it like a twig
Without any expectations she just wants to be

Who she always wanted to be, free-spirited and
Kind. She cannot make any predictions for 2020,
But realizes she does not need anyone’s hand
To be warm or secure in a world lacking plenty

Of warmth and security. The only obstacle that
Stands in her way is herself. She was tired of
Those people who would rather see her fall flat
And as she crawled through infestation, the love

Slowly crept back into her veins. The sunlight
Was back in her smile and in the way she shook
Off those who are not on her journey. Her bright
Demeanor is back. When the world does not look

At her is when she is at her best because they
Only stare and critique when she is at her worst.
What they do not know is that although she say
Very little, she still has a lot of hunger and thirst

For many things in life. What the world does not
Notice is I am her and 2020 is my redemption shot.