My Start In Poetry

As we kick off the new year (happy 2021 everyone), I want to take this time and look back on when I first started writing poetry. I first started writing poetry in middle school and I believe it was 6th grade, but by the time I was in 8th grade I really got into it. I always credit Mr. Rose, my 8th grade English teacher for my start in poetry. I began connecting to it a lot more and I have carried it with me since then. It has become my whole world. Poetry is all about perspective and experience. That brings me to my first and only quote in this post. Muriel Rukeyser says, “Breathe in experience, breathe out poetry.” I really do breathe poetry. I do not want to make this post too long, but I would love to share some of my earliest works with you and I hope that you enjoy them as much as I do! FYI, I wrote this poem from my grandma’s perspective who at a young age moved from Arkansas to California. I thank her for being one of my earliest inspirations and for continuing to cheer me on. I love you grandma Nan!!!!

Grandma Nan Moves From Arkansas

When I was ‘bout 13 years old
Younger than you are now
I was leaving our only family home.

I said goodbye to our ratty,
Yet warm and welcoming house.
I also said goodbye to
The faded and chipped red painted barn,
Occupied with the clucking of the rooster
And the loud noises of the other animals.
I was longing and aching to touch them
One last time,
Before I said goodbye
To them for the very last time
I grew up with them
I have loved and cherished them
As if they were a part of my family.

I am leaving the old country side
And all of the roads that
Isolated us from our neighbors
Down the long bend
And those kicking up dirt
As we drive on by in our car.

I was going to miss my Arkansas
But we were leaving
For something better,
A life in the city,
In San Francisco, California
A place known as
“The land of sunshine and opportunity.”

It’s a place where my poppa could get a real job
Making enough money to support us.
He doesn’t have to live on the minimum wage,
Barely making a dollar an hour.

The Great Depression
Swept through the country
And took everything that was in it’s path.

I wonder what ever happened to that house
For I have never gone back to Arkansas
And I still haven’t to this very day.

Surviving Rock Bottom

We are about three months into the new year of 2020 and we have all already gone through so much. Especially with the Coronavirus going around. I know I have talked about when we hit rock bottom. A lot of the time it is hitting rock bottom and then getting back from rock bottom. In other words, it is how we survive rock bottom. If we can survive rock bottom then I feel like we can survive anything else life throws our way. First of all for those of you who do not know what rock bottom is, here is the definition from dictionary.com. “at the lowest possible limit or level; extremely low.” So in other words, rock bottom would be the lowest as one can go. You cannot go any further down. Once you hit rock bottom I do not think anything in life can scare you. That brings me to my first quote of this post. “When you hit rock bottom and survive, nothing can scare you.” I feel like rock bottom is the scariest thing one person can face.

Some people say that hitting rock bottom is one of the worst places to be, but it can also be a beautiful place to be because it gives you a chance to start over. It could be one of the worst things to happen or you can have it be one of the best things to happen to you. That brings me to my next quote. “Rock bottom is a beautiful start.” Rock bottom gives you a new start in life. Some people do not survive rock bottom, but some people do and there is some beauty in surviving rock bottom. We made the decision to not be at rock bottom again. It is like we needed the wake up call. I feel like this next quote by Christine Evangelou can explain it a little bit better. She says, “When you feel like you have been hit, dig deep and hit back. Rock bottom is not your end; it is your beginning.” In other words, do not think of rock bottom as the place where you end, but where you begin. It is like you are being reborn all over again.

There were some times in which I was hitting rock bottom emotionally and physically especially. I was not liking the person I was becoming. It is like we become someone we do not recognize anymore. I think in that moment I had to take a reality check and had to cut someone out of my life who was beginning to bring me down. Hitting rock bottom is not always easy to recognize and it can be hard pulling ourselves from rock bottom, but a lot of the time it has to be done. We do not do it for other people. We HAVE to do it for ourselves. It is like we are choosing ourselves and our mental health over anything unhealthy or toxic. We take rock bottom and we rebuild. That brings me into my next quote by J. K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter. She says, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” In other words, we use that rock bottom to rebuild our lives from the ground up.

The following poem is dedicated to those who not only hit rock bottom, but were also able to survive rock bottom. Hitting rock bottom is when we really become appreciative and thankful. That is what the next quote is all about. “rock bottom, Thank you for showing me I am meant to do more than just survive. Thank you for showing me I am worthy of living.” Like I said before, this poem is dedicated to those who are survivors of hitting rock bottom. You are the real heroes because that takes a lot of courage. Once you have hit rock bottom the only thing to do is to go up. I want to conclude with one more quote. I am a positive person so I want to end on a positive note. This next quote says, “When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.” That echoes at least one of the comments I got when I posted the original poem on DUP. Wally says, “It’s insightful as to your past and where strength comes from when one has hit rock bottom because up is the only way to go.” So on that note, I hope everyone who hits rock bottom and survives will be able to go up instead of down further. The quote that comes right after the poem is one that I am beginning to hold close to my heart and sums it up quote perfectly. Thank you and cheers!!

Surviving Rock Bottom

I knew I hit rock bottom when I sat there
And I could never defend the man I loved
Anymore, not even to my best friend or

Anyone else. I promised and would swear
To myself I would never put anyone above
Me or my health. I was choosing to ignore

Everything he put me through including
The pain and sleepless nights. He did not
See the tears I kept from him. He only saw

Me as happy until I felt like I was losing
Everything I once knew like love. The knot
Remained and in the end the final straw

Was him not caring. It did not matter until
I walked away he realized it was a battle
That he would no longer win. I could have

Chosen to be bitter or shut down the spill
Of feelings or emotions, but in the saddle
I went again and my heart’s main valve

Still got cut wide open when I decided to
Move on and try to love again. This time
The pain was worse than before. Rock

Bottom was home until the sky was blue
Again and I could breathe. The rhyme
In life made sense as I am able to walk

On a path I created. Those people came
Into my life to not to necessarily heal me,
But to love, to make and break me apart

Until I became the person I was ashamed
Of. Some people bring chaos from the sea
And some came to bring me a new start.

So yes, pain ebbs and flows, but even as it
Has brung me to my knees and as I really
Began to wonder if I can continue this life

In happiness, in my veins and in every bit
Of my soul I truly carry on like a rose or lily
Blooming again after being cut by a knife.

“Life doesn’t give You the people you want, It gives you The people you need: To love you, To hate you, To make you, To break you, And to make you the person you Were meant to be.” – Walt Whitman