I could not wait for another full week before posting this one because it is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind these days. It is taking a lot of pride and courage to say what I am about to say… I have to be brutally honest and this is something I am working on a lot these days. I am talking about this issue because it just came up with a friend and someone else that I know (I am not naming any names for their protection, but I hope that they are reading this). Everybody who really knows me know and understand that I am a nice person (or at least I try to be). I am also one of those people who do not get mad or angry all that much (well I do sometimes, but I keep it in).
One thing I have been working on is apologizing when I get angry and take it out on someone when we both know they did not deserve it. Like I said before, this just recently happened with one of my good friends. I do not want to make any excuses, but sometimes things build up and you lash out on people. On the flip side, people have to tell me (especially right away) if I make them angry, upset or sad because I cannot always read people and it would be better if they tell me about it rather than telling other people or just straight up not telling me (even if I get defensive which does happen). I know other people feel this way too and we can all work on it, I promise.
I know that I feel appreciative when people apologize and say sorry to me because it shows me they care enough so I know other people would appreciate the same when I do the same. I just want everybody to realize that yes, there are times when you need to apologize for some mistake that you made (even if you do not know what exactly you did or even if it is a small mistake), but do not feel like you need to apologize when you are being yourself. There is a big difference between the two. There is this quote I found to sum it all up perfectly. “You will always be too much of something for some people: too big, too loud, too soft, too emotional, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you will lose your edge. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone…profusely. But do not apologize for being who you are.”
So I urge my readers to apologize for something that they did, no matter how big or small. Sometimes you did not mean to do it intentionally. It happens to all of us, even to the really good people. Forget about your pride and ego because it is not always about you, it is about the other person and making sure they know how much you care. If you or they do not care, then why does it matter? Some relationships and friendships (especially with loved ones) are far more important than others. People need to realize that more. Here is a poem, written as an apology for everybody (including those who I have unintentionally hurt). Nobody is ever weak (especially in these particular moments). Just know that it is never okay to intentionally hurt someone (no matter if they deserve it or not).
Being Sorry
Wounded ego and pride.
Forget about my feelings
And be able to put them aside.
I am the one who is healing
Someone else rather
Than just myself. Revealing
Myself is hard. I want to gather
You up close to my heart so you
Hear sincerity. You are my brother
And my blood sister too
So I feel sorry. Anger is no
Excuse for bidding you adieu
For good. I hope I do not blow
This opportunity with you because
You have always meant so
Much to me, no matter is every vase
Has shattered into thousands of small
Pieces. I do not want to cause
You any more pain. For all
Of the things I have said and
Done I apologize for hitting the wall.
