Memories and Moments

Life… I feel like it is all made of memories and moments. One thing I think of to represent this would be a kaleidoscope. We do our best to try to hang onto them because after a while they sometimes disappear forever. I am someone who loves taking pictures for at least a couple of reasons. I want to remember those moments/memories because I am one of those people who have a good long term memory, but a terrible short term memory, partially because of my LD. Sometimes people have to tell me something at least three times before it sets in and on the other hand, I can remember something that happened years ago. I also love taking photos just because and I love taking pictures. I do remember something my brother said to me before I took a trip to Budapest when I was in college. I was so excited to be in Budapest and taking tons of pictures. He said something I can never forget. I do not remember word for word what he said, but he said something like “Forget about taking pictures and just soak it all in. Enjoy being there.” It really is true because sometimes taking it all in and experiencing all of those things gives you memories to last a lifetime. In fact, that brings me to this quote by Cesare Pavese. “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” It is so true how we remember moments as well as memories.

Moments, as well as memories are precious and super special, especially when they are with at least one special person. In fact, sometimes they are downright one of the best things in the world, especially when you are looking back on the memories and they bring a smile to your face. This brings me to this quote. “The best things in life are the people you love, the places you go, and the memories you make.” It is true that you make memories and moments. It is also true that we have bad memories and moments, but we should not focus too much on those although those taught us something as well. I included both memories and moments in this post because they are pretty much the same things, but they can be slightly different. Memories I feel like are something to look back on while moments can sometimes be right now, in the present, like present moments for example. Sometimes you cannot help, but crave them with the right person or people. This post is extra special to me, so I included a couple of poems. Hang strong, my readers and I hope you all remember the good memories/moments in life before they are gone. The truth is that you sometimes have to let them go too. Enjoy!!

Craving Those Moments

In this moment, I know that I cannot leave
You behind, no matter how difficult it all
Gets. It is in those moments when you grieve
That I really see and feel you. When you crawl
Into that hole, I am right behind you. I give
You my shoulder for you to lean on because
I am your pillar. Darling, I always try to live
For those moments when life is always abuzz.
We get to shut out the silence and sadness
That threatens to spill in between the cracks.
It is when the world is filled with madness
And craziness that I crave life’s quiet climax.
I want those moments of solitude with you
And nobody else. You keep me level headed,
Calm and stable when nobody else can. Barely two
Years of this but I cannot get used to our threaded
Hands and palms fast enough. Our hearts are deeply
Intertwined and connected. Please just say
That you will always find a way to keep me
Because that is all I want and we meet halfway.

Summer Memories With You

You were my summer – full of sunlight,
Smiles, laughter, easiness, being able
To relax, and forgetting about those
Fall and winter days. Then the weather
Got colder and you were gone like the sun
Disappearing behind the clouds.
I wish I could keep those moments
Snuggling up with you until the sun rises
Close to my heart, but you probably
Already forgot about me. You are
Probably making some new memories
With some other girl. I hope she gets
To know all those things deep down
Inside of you that you told me when
You could not fall asleep. I hope that
She gets to hear your laughter and
Your singing voice that I was entranced
With. I hope that she gets to hold your
Hand when she needs comfort like I did.
I hope that she holds onto you tight
Like I tried to do. She does not want to
Lose you because you mean everything
To her like you once did for me.
You were my good summer memories.

Showing Support/Lifting Others Up

Ever heard of that expression, “pulling yourself up by the bootstraps?” Well… I am going to be talking about that in this blog post. I do not even know where that saying originated from. I know that some, if not all of us, should pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, but a lot of us need other people to do that for us as well. It does not show weakness or giving up. It shows more than that and that would be having others help us up or in other words having people reach out a helping hand. I do not know how others feel about it, but I appreciate people who support as well as motivate and push me to be better. This brings me to this quote I found by Charles M. Marcus. He says “Surround yourself with people who are going to motivate and inspire you.” I know that I have talked about how we all go through times when we struggle, but the truth is that we, for the most part, have people who help us get through those hard times. Those are the people who help us smile, laugh and wipe away at least some of our tears.

For some of us that might be family members or a really good and best friend. For some of us it could be a counselor or mentor or a significant other. For a lot of us it could be a whole mix of those and for those of us who have that kind of person or multiple people, I say that we are lucky. For some other people, they are not as lucky and I truly feel sorry for those people. For some people, they have that “special” person, but that “special” person may not realize that they are that type of person. That really does not matter. What it matters is how much they support you and become that rock/solid foundation for you, especially when things in life become crazy/unstable. Those are people who help us live life. That is why I try to avoid people who are negative. They only try to bring you down. That brings me into my next quote about being around successful people. “Successful people build each other up. They motivate, inspire, and push each other. Unsuccessful people just hate, blame, and complain.” That is why I try to surround myself with good people/people who are going somewhere. Yeah, you may have some people who may not be going anywhere, but that is because they are temporarily stuck. Know the difference between those people and those people who never want to get unstuck or out of that situation.

I just want to thank those people in my life as well as those people who play a significant part in other people’s lives because we would not be where we are without them there supporting us every step of the way. No matter what life throws our way, we hang onto people and as unexpected as they may be, they are still there. This brings me to a quote I have come to appreciate and love a lot more. “There will be storms, child, there will be storms. And with each tempest, you will seem to stand alone against cruel winds; but with time, the rage and fury shall subside. And when the sky clears, you will find yourself clinging to someone, you would have never known, but for storms.” In other words, sometimes storms bring us those kinds of people who end up meaning the world to us. All we can do is to hold onto those people tight. Since this post is a topic I have a strong interest in, I am including at least a couple of pieces here.

Helping Hand

Reach your hand out and I will pull you up
By the bootstraps. When think that your cup
Is half way empty, I will fill it back to the top.
When your life is coming to a dead stop
And red light, it is turning green again.
When you are tired because the rain
And storm keeps coming, just pause for
A moment so I can catch up when the door
Closes. You do not need to thank me because
In all those times when I could not get my jaws
To work to form words or good thoughts
You were there to untangle the knots
And have everything running smoothly
Again. Darling, you are always going to truly
Be my guardian angel when I am your rock.
I know that you are not the one to mock
My insecurities because you have some of
Your own. It when you showed me what love
Really was, being there for someone else and
Being there for yourself too no matter if the sand
Tries to sink you down with it. I always made
That promise to uplift you when you felt weighed
Down. I promised to show support and grace
Even when you did not deserve it. Your face
Is the one I picture seeing for the rest of our days,
Forever. I will walk with you through the maze.

When Life Is a Storm

Life was beginning to blow over and was falling apart.
It is when some higher power was leading me right to
You in the middle of it all. The darkness in your heart
Was outweighed heavily by the storm around you.

You did not want to let anybody in because of all that
You were going through, but I was continuously
Changing your mind. You wanted to give up and flat
Line, but I got you back to living. I got you seriously
Thinking about life again. Darling, it is not always about
The clouds and the storms, but how we get through them
Even on a good day. It was during every single blowout
When you held onto me. I was your constant steady drum.

It was the laugh, the smile, and kind words that you said
Saved you. It was during the rain that you said I was
Your rock. I was your breath of fresh air when you bled
Out all over the floor right below us. It was because
Of the times when life’s storm threw you hard
That I got to truly know you and you became my lucky card.

Insecurities and Doubts

It is something that comes up a whole lot, whether we realize it or not. That would be insecurities and doubts. Maybe I was inspired by one of Beyoncé’s songs “Pretty Hurts” where she sings about “Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Perfection is the disease of a nation/Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Tryna fix something/But you can’t fix what you can’t see/It’s the soul that needs the surgery..” Girls and young woman are always taught that you need to be pretty because nothing else should matter. I am not taking away from the fact that boys do not have insecurities, but when you open a magazine who do you see? Female models, most of whom are skinny and thin. Sure, people tell you to also embrace your curves.

I am tired of hearing that girls should be pretty like a barbie dolls with the perfect hair, the right clothes and makeup. Girls and boys are getting different messages. It should be okay for females to be tomboys and for guys to feel like they should not “masculine.” In some of the lyrics of Colbie Caillat’s “Try” she sings “You don’t have to try so hard/You don’t have to, give it all away/You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up/You don’t have to change a single thing/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try/You don’t have to try…” Remember when I talked about being yourself? Well, it applies here too. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone else when we should be ourselves. Stop listening to those who think you are not pretty or beautiful or smart or dumb enough. In other words, stop paying attention to society. They, for the most part do not know what they are talking about.

Insecurities are all in your head because you create them based on what you hear. They are those voices in our head that are quiet but are loud enough for us to listen to. Here is a quote which says “Confidence is loud. Insecurities are loud.” In other words, try to have more confidence while trying to not have insecurity. I know that it is hard. Shut it up, whatever it takes because you should believe that you are simply good enough. Heck, you should surround yourself with people who think you are good enough as well. Insecurities for the most part are a part the negativity you should ignore and should not be a part of. I know there are tons of quotes about insecurity out there, but I will leave you with one that rings true for a lot of us. “Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.” In other words, never let your insecurities hold you back from pursuing whatever it is that you want, including people/relationships you want, etc. It may also stop you from going after what you want.

I know that a lot of my insecurities come from the fact that I thought I was not like anybody else. I was never really a girly girl or cared too much about my appearance. Sometimes it did not help that I had a sister and friends who are beautiful. I stopped trying to compare myself to them a long time ago. Some insecurities also come from when I did theater/acting because I felt like I was never good enough compared to those who got the parts and are great actors/actresses. I was never one of those people who got the parts. I have to stop myself from those who have had years and years of experience acting. I am nothing like them. I am good at what I do in my own way. I want my readers to take the same lesson. Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that you are good enough. Insecurities should not be listened to. I know rejection sucks and it is one thing I am terrified of, but you have to realize that you did try. My final thought is to let go of insecurity or at least we should try to, no matter how hard it may be in the end. Here are two poems for you, my readers, to enjoy.

Silencing Insecurities

Never believe their twisted lies
Whenever you look into the mirrors
Because you want to be the girl who tries

To fight through it all. They are the killers
On the inside. You are pretty but
Are you strong enough for your pillars?

Do you have enough grit to get out of the rut?
You just have to keep digging through the dirt
To find the diamond. You may want to strut

Around, but sometimes being beautiful will hurt
With the shards of the broken glass down
Your throat. Being perfect does nothing to advert

From insecurity. You have the whole town
And world thinking you are a confident
Pageant queen while smiling when you frown

When you are alone. The devil is the occupant
Within your head that tells you that you are never
Going to be enough. Take every compliment

With pride and dignity. Get rid of and sever
Every voice that always says no instead of yes.
Darling, you have to be the one to pull that lever

And watch it all go down the drain. Bless
Every flaw and blemish. Do not hate your skin
Or think that you are a complete mess

Even on days when you do not feel thin
Enough because someone will love all of that.
Only then will you finally feel like you will win.

Stereotypical Girl

Lose the extra pound.
Try harder. Push harder.
Gain some more weight.
You look too skinny.
You look too fat.
Straighten your hair.
Embrace your natural
Hair. Wear contact lenses
Because that is what
Everyone else does.
Wear glasses, even if
They are fake and unreal.
You want to look smart.
Do not wear too much makeup,
Otherwise you will look like
A clown. Some is better
Than none. Get your nails
Done. Go shopping at the
Mall. Wear tight clothes.
Wear loose clothing.
Be proud of your natural
Looks. Do not get fooled
By the stereotypes thrown
Your way just because
You are a girl in this world.

Being a Warrior, Queen and Fighter All Together

Looking at the title of this post, I am sure that you are scratching your head wondering, what the heck?! Yes, they all have relation to one another. How so, you might ask. They are all strong and come back when they are knocked down. There is a reason why I grouped them all together, including this quote I found, from r.h. Sin, one of my favorite writers/poets and I know that there are a lot more great quotes about this subject. “heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. there is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul. she is you. a warrior, a champion, a fighter, a queen.” I know that we all have this strength within us or a will to get back up and keep fighting. I was also inspired to write about this because I have had a strong interest in kickboxing, especially since I took a kickboxing class when I was in college. Naturally, I think I am a fighter so I know that other people are. I am lucky, I know, but I am still determined and work hard. I try my best to embody all of these. Other people probably do the same.

We have to be all of these people, although we really do not have to be a warrior, queen or a fighter. What I am saying is that although you do not have to be one of those kinds of people, I would say to have the mentality of one or all of those people. Be strong and fierce like a warrior. Have the confidence and wear the crown like the a queen. Get back up and keep going like a fighter. I know that we are all going through our own battles and fights, sometimes on a daily basis. We never give up and still just keep pushing, sometimes even through the pain.

There are some of us who are lucky enough to have people right there with us through it all including the pain, sadness, tears, scars, etc. They never try to change us, they are there to support us and to not tear us down. They let us be fighters, warriors, and queens, if we want to. I also want to inspire people by including lyrics to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite human beings/singers, “Warrior” by Demi Lovato. Now I’m a warrior/I’ve got thicker skin/I’m a warrior/I’m stronger than I’ve ever been/And my armor, is made of steel, you can’t get in/I’m a warrior/And you can never hurt me again.” Since we have some slightly different subjects in here I will include more than one piece. I encourage my readers to keep fighting and be someone who never gives up. Cheers!!

Fighter

You see the scars and all the pain.
You still want me with it all anyways.
You let the tears that fall down stain

Our clothes and sheets. You gaze
At me and still love me no matter what
Happens. I always surprise and amaze

You every day. Even the punch in the gut
Does not phase you one bit. You say I am
A fighter, head held high. When I shut

Down and feel empty you open the dam
To let me feel everything with you right
There. On the days I when I want to slam

The door shut on you and take flight
You pick me up in your arms to show
Me how much you care. You are my light

And you never try to take away my glow.
I am not living in the shadows and doubt
Anymore. I am living every low

And high with you. I am never in this bout
And fight alone. You are in my corner.
They should know we would never bow out.

Like A Queen

Do not let them tell you a lie.
You are better than every dead
Flower at your feet. Do not cry

Because of despair. Keep your head
Up straight and keep walking because
You never realize you have rosy red

Lips like the queen of hearts. People’s jaws
Hit the ground because you are full of
Wonder and beauty. Continue the buzz

Following you everywhere. Shove
Aside the hatred and jealousy.
You are wonder woman. Endless love

Is in your heart. You have better clarity
About the world all around you.
People want to worship you endlessly

Because you have made it through
Every fire and storm still intact.
People have not realized you grew

Stronger because of it all. You are cracked
Below the surface and far from flawless
Like everybody else. You make an impact

On the world. You never get enough solace
Because people think of you as unbreakable.
Although you are bold, you are still cautious

With a presence that is unshakable.
And your life lessons are unmistakable.