Tag: grief

When Life is Precious/Delicate

It is hard to believe that this year is coming to an end already. I know that I have not posted anything here in a while. Lots of transitions, as well as many ups and downs. New jobs. Family things. You know how life goes. I really thought long and hard about this topic to end the year with. Life is a precious and delicate thing. Sometimes we take it for granted. I am blessed to have parents I am close with and friends who I am very lucky to have. But that could change in a moment. I was just thinking about it recently especially with the timely death of my grandma Nan who passed away at the age of 98 at the end of September. I have been thinking about it as my parents are getting older too and my dad just turning 85 earlier this month (happy birthday month to my lovely dad).

We need to enjoy and remember every moment with those we care about while they are still here. My grandma was a complicated person, but I never doubted her love for me and people who knew her and know me remind of that every singe day. I choose to remember the good memories instead of the bad or tragic ones. She also very much supported my poetry writing and encouraged me on daily basis. A lot of my earlier work was inspired by her. I get my love of poetry from that side of the family. That brings me into my first and my only quote for this post. I am keeping this a short one. This quote is by Jim Valvano who says “Enjoy your life, the precious moments you have.” That quote sums it all up. We need to enjoy life and remember those precious moments. I once again apologize for not posting as much as I usually do, but maybe my new year’s resolution is to write more on this blog and to still get my poetry collection published. I just want to wish you all a happy new year! May this next year bring you everything you are looking for. Here are two poems to end 2025.

Life Hanging By a Thread

Life is precious and delicate

Like an intricately woven web.

Sometimes you need to know

When to hold on and when it is

Time to let go. Life is about loss

And coping. We are all dealing

With heartbreak or with losing

A family member. We all deal with

Grief and love. Sometimes it is

Better to remember the good times

Rather than the memories that have

Us shed a tear or two. We would

Rather remember who we love in

The present moment rather than

The love we lost months or years

Ago. Maybe none of it matters –

The pain, the hurt, the longing,

The anger or anything in between.

Maybe that is why I protect my

Heart more than anything else

Because it is precious and closest

Thing I have to the honest truth.

Love is not meant for the ones

Barely hanging on. It is meant for

The ones who are strong and capable.

To Grandma Nan

I love you 

The words that 

Rattle around in my head.

How I wish I could have been

There for you in your final moments,

But the guilt I used to carry around

Like a suitcase melts away. Maybe

It is better to remember your last

Words spoken to me rather than 

Seeing you in the flesh because 

I would rather remember you as

You were, loving and supportive

And not hanging on for dear life.

I loved you grandma even when you

Were rough around the edges. 

I loved you when you hugged me

Tightly. I loved you even when 

Your memories have faded,

But your love stayed intact.

Death

I know that this is never a pleasant subject to talk about, but I want to talk about death in this post, especially with all the deaths happening around the world (and especially in the United States). RIP to those who died in these terrorist attacks, the people who died in Orlando, other incidents happening around the world, and people getting killed by cops. Death is extremely hard to talk about because to a lot of people it gets personal and causes a lot of grief. I have not personally experienced  a lot of deaths. There was a family friend that passed away and my grandpa died back when I was a lot younger (my grandparents on my dad’s died before I was born). I would not know what to do if my grandma (on my mom’s side) passed away because she means the world to me and we are extremely close.

What is that one thing that comes with death, besides grief? That would be pain and a lot of the time, sadness. No matter how hard death is, we sometimes have to focus on the positive side as well, even if we have to squint. It is a celebration of that person’s life and all that they have done. We all have our role models who have passed away (mine include Maya Angelou, Robin Williams, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, etc.) For other people it may vary. So if anybody has ever known someone (plural too), I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I want to include a quote right here.  “We talk about them, because we’re proud. We talk about them because they deserve to be remembered. We talk about them, because even though they are not physically with us, they are never far from our mind. We talk about them, because they are a part of us, a part that we could never ignore or disown. We talk about them, because we love them still and always will. Forever. Nothing will change that.” Scribbles & Crumbs

Death can be as literal or as symbolic or as imaginative as we want it to be. Although we know people who have died, we can also apply that to thing(s) that are not people like relationships. While we mourn for people who have died, we have also mourned for a relationship that has died or faded away. In both cases we are saying goodbye. I think that it is especially important to come together and stand together.

There is a little inspiration behind this poem. Like everybody else I listen to music and one song that I came across is Sam Smith’s “Lay Me Down.” For people who do not know this song, it goes something like this:

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright
I’ll take care of you
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I love Sam Smith plus his lyrics because they personal and moving. This poem I wrote is in mourning of a guy (who I figuratively lost and is still hypothetical), but can be applied to any person or thing that has died (especially to those people killed by cops). May you all rest in peace! And on a somber note, happy reading to everybody and just know that you are never truly alone. There will be a day where we are reunited once again in a world, hopefully filled with better things that what life has to offer now. Whatever happens, I will be right there beside you. There will be a day where we will get past these deaths (maybe not today, but some other day). Lots of love!! P.S. Just a little side note here that this post is dedicated to the victims in Orlando, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Dallas cops, and to countless amounts of other victims. May you all rest in peace.

Reunited Once Again

Lay me down next to him

So he does not feel so alone

In this world that has let

Him down. I want to crawl

Into this cocoon with him

So that he knows that I am

Right there with him. He may

Be as dead and cold as his

Tombstone, but nothing

Including the rain could ever

Disturb the peace. Although

He is lifeless and still, he will

Be alive in my mind where

We are dancing. We are

Laughing and smiling

Although he is no longer

Walking this earth. I am

Missing the twinkle in his

Eyes and the swagger in

The way he moves. I just

Know that we will meet again

And be back to how we used

To be. Now I have to imagine

This life without you in it.

I wished that I would be able

To tell him “I love you”

For the last time, but

He already knew that.

There will always be a

Missing piece in my heart

That he took with him

When he left. He knows that

I will never forget him just

Like I know that he will

Never forget me.

Is this why this is all so painful?

Does moving on truly hurt?

Yes, it does hurt, but I have

To move on. I have to do this

For the both of us. We will

See each other again

In another lifetime

Full with happiness, rainbows,

And other good things.