I just want to apologize for not posting anything since January. A lot has been going on. I will dive right into this post. This post was meant to be posted in March for Women’s History month and that is what inspired this post. In addition, I am also talking about self worth, which ties hand in hand with the first theme. I feel pretty damn lucky to be surrounded by a community of women, including Ground Up PDX, a place I used to work at. They help women who face barriers to being employed. I learned new skills in their employment program and made some amazing friends along the way. It really shows me how much community and the women around me are very important. This brings me to my first quote of this post. Forest Whitaker says “The true wealth of a community is measured by how carefully it listens to its women and how sincerely it values their wisdom. Empowering women empowers us all.” In other words, when we value women we become more successful as a community.
Sometimes it is hard to find my self worth, especially when I am used to being told no. No, you are not good for this job. No, we do not want you. No, no, no. I try to not take it personally. We are so used to putting the blame on ourselves like we are not good enough, we are not deserving enough, etc. It really has nothing to do with you. It is just simply that it is not the right fit. Whether it is a job, a relationship, etc. it just was not meant to be and that is okay. It just means that there is something better down the line. For example, it took me some time but I think I found the right job. There will be a day when I find the right kind of relationship with someone who is out there somewhere. It takes a lot of soul searching and figuring out what you want but never doubt your self worth. And even if you doubt yourself there are people around, including yourself who do not doubt you for one second.
That brings me into my next and final two quotes quotes. The first of the two is by Michelle Phan who says “I believe that rejection is a blessing because it’s the universe’s way of telling you that there’s something better out there.” This is exactly what I was saying before. There is ALWAYS something better out. The second of the two is by Alan Cohen who says “If you know your true worth, you do not need anyone else to confirm it.” That is why it is called self-worth. It does not involve anyone else but yourself and that is all that matters. I do not want to make this post too long since this post have been long delayed and I do not want to wait any longer. I am so sorry that post took a long time to write but it is finally here. Here is a poem to enjoy. Cheers! P.S. Speaking of community… I am not sure if I shared this or not but if not here you go. I just want to share that my favorite poetry site Deep Underground Community has indeed closed down. It is a sad time because as you all know by now that site meant the world to me. I met so many amazing people and it came into my life when I needed it the most. But the show must go on as usual.
Self Worth
I think you made a mistake in letting
Me go, but I cannot tell you that
Because you must live with that
Decision for the rest of your life.
In the end it is all going to be okay
Because I stand on the shoulders
Of the women who supported me
And helped me move on. Because
That is you did… moving on with
Whoever and whatever came next.
My smile is a little brighter and my
Laughter is a little louder. The nights
Are a little easier to sleep through.
How did I ever think you were the one?
It is okay to be alone when it comes
To romantic love. But love also comes
In an abundance of many friendships,
Enjoying life and being with those
Who make me feel less alone.
I look at the woman in the mirror,
Flawed and willing to whisper to
My reflection You did it! I am
So proud of you and how far you
Came. You survived with a broken
Heart. You made it through the ashes
And every negative thought. You made
It despite broken trust and the feeling
You were not going to make it. You are
Still the same goofy and kind person
You have always been. Never let
Someone else dim your light or think
That you are unworthy just because
They could not see the best in you.
In the end I chose myself and the kind
Of life I wanted to live. I chose to love
Myself and the life I already have.