I know that this post is a week late with Valentine’s Day just a couple of weeks ago, but I guess it is never too late when we talk about this subject. I just recently had a conversation with my closest friend who went through a bad breakup. I won’t go into all the details of what happened because that is her business. With that conversation and with everything that I have gone through in the past with past relationships I will talk about this subject of real and true love. I feel like this is a subject we can all relate to in one way or another. I think it is what a lot of us aim and strive for when we are looking for that right relationship. And for the most part it will find you rather than the other way around. That leads me to my first quote of this post. “When love is real it finds a way.” This echoes almost exactly what I said just before. It is what my best friend said to me once upon a time. True love will find you, especially when you least expect it. It could happen at work or it could really happen anywhere and with anyone.
We tend to think of love stories of having an ending, but I think the truth is that true love never has an ending. That leads me to my next quote. Richard Bach says “True love stories never have endings.” It is like what I said before… true love does not have an ending. I think that is why it is sometime called never ending love. It is love that never ends. A love that lasts until the day you both die. A love that you makes you feel cool and calm. I probably shared this quote already, but if I haven’t here it is. Monica Drake says “The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.” Usually people tell you that your soulmate gives you butterflies and makes your knees go week. This quote is saying the opposite. Your soulmate should make you feel calm with no anxiety. They can still give you butterflies (the good kind).
I am fortunate enough to have a great example of what true and real love is. I look at the example of my parents. They have love that is undeniable. Yes, they fight and argue, but at the end of the day they still love each other. Love is imperfect. Once you find that real and true love you fight hard to keep it. You just have to make sure that love is mutual. That means if you love them they should love you back in return. In other words, it should not be a one sided type of love. That brings me into my next quote. “Love isn’t perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook and it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but
most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together.” In other words, love has its imperfections, but sometime it is worth all the hard work, especially when you work together, not against each other.
I could go and on about this, but I will say this… it is a little piece of advice a friend once gave me, especially after leaving a relationship. Take the time to sit down with a piece of paper and make what could be kind of a checklist of everything you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/future spouse. I keep adding to the list and I know that it is still floating around somewhere. If I ever do find it I will definitely share it with you all. She said to include it in your vows whenever you do get married.
I will share two final final quote with you all. Ali Larter says “You know it’s right when you feel this undeniable connection and chemistry.” In other words, you just know when it is the right type of love. Love goes way beyond chemistry. You can just feel it in your head and heart. The second one by Pierre Alex Jeanty says “True love will come. It will not bring pain, but healing. It will not
bring confusion, but clarity. It will not awaken your insecurities, but put them to sleep. Real love will come and wipe away all the wrong experiences. Hold on.” In other words, hold on until you find that real love. That quote ties into one of the other quotes of this post about finding someone who makes you calm. Your soulmate is like a teammate or parter. They support you and have you putting away your insecurities/doubts.
I just encourage everyone to never give up on true or real love. This post is dedicated to my best friend since elementary school. I love you. This post and poem is dedicated to you. I hope someday you find someone who can give you that real feeling of love because you deserve it!
The Purest Love
All I wanted for you to do was to take me
Home, but every time I look into your eyes
I am already there. With your clothes
Thrown around my room and in this bed
With my head against your chest I think
To myself… this is all I ever really wanted.
With you in my head and my lungs I see
A bright future. All of the other guys
Could have me, but with all the oaths
I made to you the oaths stand true. I sink
To my knees because you are in my head
And heart. Others have never haunted
My dreams quite like you do. Somehow I
Thought every man before you was going
To save me, but I had to save myself and
Be okay with being by myself before
I could ever let anyone else in. I let you
In even with a protected and guarded
Heart. I saw my reflection in your eyes
And saw myself as you saw me… glowing
And filled with happiness. With your hands
All over me I was home. With the door
Of the past closed I could breathe. Too
Many times I thought I would be discarded
On the side of the road like I was totally
Forgotten about, but you picked me up
When the darkness became too much.
I just wanted for the good parts of our
Story to be what people remember when
They think about love. I was never afraid
Of losing to love, but losing the brokenly
Parts to my enemies who wanted my cup
To remain empty. It was your firm touch
That saved me. With every waking hour
I just want to to spend them all within
Your loving embrace. I never prayed
For anything more than what my parents
Have…. A strong and gentle love. An
Equal partnership. Love that lasts until
We are old and gray. Something that holds
My hand and heart with such carefulness.
Someone who will say I do at the end of
The aisle with sureness and assurance.
Promises with vows and rings with plans
For the future, giving my heart stillness
And not shakiness. When the truth unfolds
You will dive in with me with fearlessness
And with no room to be afraid. This is love.