Girls, Women, and Ladies

They come in all shapes and forms. Whatever you want to call them… It all does not matter. I know that our country is founded upon “All men are created equal.” In this case I do not want to solely focus on the men. Although they are an important part of our lives, they are not the only important people in our lives. Men are praised for being strong and powerful, although in some cases they are criticized for not being “man” enough. What about the women all across this world? They are naturally portrayed as weak and vulnerable. Why cannot women be strong and powerful as well? And why is it that although it is the 21st century women are still being viewed as unequal to men. Women give birth to our children and still have to constantly fight to keep their rights. They get unequal pay, etc.

My whole point is that maybe it is time for women (including myself and other women I know) to put themselves first. I know that is one of the hardest things to do in this world, especially for those so used to taking care of others and putting themselves last. I have searched the internet for the right quote (trust me there are a lot) about putting yourself first and I came across this one (I also happened to find this on one of my friend’s Facebook pages, thanks in part to Caitlyn). “Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.” In other words, it is all about your happiness and your life. In the end, it should never matter what other people think about you and the choices you make. Demi, my hero, talks about putting yourself first too. She says “Sometimes it is okay to be selfish. Being selfless all the time can be detrimental to your mind and body.” In other words, it is okay to be selfish every once and a while.  Give yourself permission to treat yourself with the respect and care that you deserve.

I wrote this poem for myself (I think of it as a short letter to myself), for I have been through a lot of things recently (I will not go too much into it all). This goes out to all the women both in my life and across the world. I am telling them (as well as myself) to never stop being who they are and that they should never let anybody else put them down. Just keep on being the amazing and strong women we all know we can be. This poem is for you!!

Putting Herself First

Just know that she always

Comes first, no matter if

She is struggling or trying

To make room for herself

To breathe. She is her

Own priority. In the past

She has cared too much

For other people and

What they think.

Now she is thinking for

Herself and what she

Needs to do to make

Herself happy. She has

Goals, dreams,

And ambitions. She will

Be mad and upset if

You or anybody else gets

In her way. She is a warrior

And goddess. She has this

Quiet yet strong power

And presence to who she is.

She is selfish only because

She deserves to care

For herself and because she

Has been let down before.

She has endless strength

Within her. She is her own

Walking life motto.

Being Your Own Best Friend

I am lucky enough to have really amazing 2 best friends and other friends I’m really close to. They mean the world to me. However, one thing I have learned, especially going through school and bad times myself, is that no matter how many BFFs and good friends you have, it’s always important to be your own best friend. That is one thing Demi talks about and I think it’s very important to emphasize here. I made the decision to move across the country for college (still one of the best choices I’ve made). That meant leaving my BFF (we’ve been best friends since elementary school) and my other close friends I’ve made throughout my life at that point behind. It meant I had to make new friends and meant I had to start over again (of making friends). In between all of that I had to learn to be my own best friend because there I was, on my own and a little nervous.

The friends I made at McDaniel were (and are still) amazing!! All my friends up through college have been there for me. I think being your own best friend goes hand in hand with taking care of yourself, which means to stop chasing people and things that are no longer good for you. So I’m sorry for cutting some people out (that is a gift for myself). Taking care of yourself means taking care of your physical and mental health.

I have to admit that I’ve had many rough patches and have days where I felt like I couldn’t do anything. In those moments I am grateful for my friends and family but I am also grateful for myself. Additionally, I am thankful for pushing myself through those days and rough patches. More importantly it’s always about loving yourself no matter what, even on those days where you feel insecure and bad about yourself. This poem goes to all those people who ever feel they need self confidence and serves as a reminder to treat yourself as good as Demi says we should. This poem is self-explanatory, but think of it as a love letter to yourself (from a woman’s perspective).

Loving Yourself

Take a look into the mirror,

Really take a hard look.

Do you see her?

She’s an important person.

She’s you and she’s me.

For a moment,

Forget about being there

For other people.

You need to be there

For yourself.

People, they come

And go. They leave

And some of them

Never come back.

But there will be

One person with you

Every day and that’s

Yourself. You can be

The only one to pick

Yourself up when

You’re surrounded

By darkness.

She’ll see your

Worth and

Determination

Even when nobody

Else sees it.

She’ll be there

When you’re feeling

Ugly and alone.

She reminds you

To be good to yourself.

She gets you over

The pain and heartbreak.

She’s the one

To give you a pep talk.

She gets you over

The bumps in the road.

She’ll be there to

Remind you to breathe.

She helps you find yourself.

She’ll tell you to

Let it all go.

She’ll be the shoulder

To cry on. She’ll be the

One to crack a smile

Or a joke.

Don’t let her leave

You behind

And most importantly

Take care of her because

You need each other.

She’s much more

Than a part of you.

Don’t forget that.

She’s the mind,

The heart, soul

And the true essence

Of everything.

She’s fearless.

She’s unapologetic.

She’s tough. She’s

A fighter. She’s kind.

She’s gentle.

Give her love. She’s

The one who deserves it

Just as much as

Everybody else does.

Loving her and

Letting her live are

The best things

To do for her

And for yourself.

There, she’ll survive

And thrive.

She’ll bloom and

You’ll never

Regret anything.

She’s your best friend.

She’ll help you more

Than anything or

Anybody else.

P.S. It goes hand in hand with my theme of messy ties. As much as it’s important to have connections with other people, it is also important to have a (good) connection with ourselves. Like I said before (in a previous post) “love is all you need.”