Tag: hurting

Unrequited Love (From Another Perspective)

This is a continuation of a post I put up here about 3 years ago about Unrequited Love/Crush (click here to reread the original post). I wanted to do this post from a different perspective. You can love someone, but sometimes they do not love you back because they could be with someone else or they do not feel the same way about you. You can either choose to hang onto that unreturned love and could idrag you down or you can choose to move on without that person. That leads me to my first quote for this post. Defsoul_8 says “It’s hard but letting go of an UNREQUITED LOVE is the best thing you can ever do for yourself.” That quote sheds some light on why, in most incidences, one should let go of unrequited love and that reason is because no matter how much you love that person they may never love you back. That is why you have to let go of it and it is the best thing to do for yourself because otherwise it will hurt you. It will also prevent you from finding someone who will love you back. I can guarantee that the person who you love is way different than the person who loves you. That brings me to my next quote by Chuck Palahniuk. He says “The one who you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.” In other words you can love someone but they will not love you and there is someone completely different who will love you. I know it sounds so twisted but it is the truth.

Unrequited love is not necessarily always about romantic relationships. It could a relationship between mother and daughter, father and son, etc. I think you get the point. That brings me to my next quote. Rosamund Lupton says “When I talk about unrequited love, most of you probably think about romantic love, but there are many other kinds of love that are not adequately returned, if they are returned at all. An angry adolescent may not love her mother back as her mother loves her; an abusive father doesn’t return the innocent open love of his young child. But grief is the ultimate unrequited love. However hard and however long we love someone who has died, they can never love us back. At least that is how it feels…” In other words grief is the strongest of them all in terms of unrequited love. That is why unrequited love hurts so much.

I do not want to make this post super long since it is a subject I have talked about before but I will conclude by sharing at least one more quote. This one reiterates the point I have been making all along. Ranata Susuki says “There are over 7 billion people in the world and sometimes you fall in love with someone and they fall in love you back – but sometimes they don’t and that’s just statistics… it’s not a fail on your part. The right person is out there for you – it’s just not this one” In other words there is the person out there who will love you but it is not this person who cannot even love you back. I will conclude this post by sharing the following poem. Enjoy! And I just want to apologize for not posting anything for a while.

Unreciprocated Love

I looked at you from afar but you never
Returned my gaze. I wanted to run my
Fingers through your hair, hoping you
Would return my love, but you send
It right back, unopened. You are clever.
You are holding back the tears you cry
Because he does not treat you like I do.
He never saw you like I did on the mend

And always willing to forgive. You see us
As nothing but friends. But I have always
Felt something more. I am too afraid to tell
You how I truly feel because you will run
To the hills. He may never fight or fuss
Over you, but through the deep haze
I see you. I want to hold you through hell
And back. Even when the bright sun

Is in your eyes I love you more. But in that
Moment I know you cannot love me back.
I cannot keep following you down the flat,
Curvy road as you are on a different track.

Betrayal

Betrayal is one of the worst feelings in the world. Sometimes we think it comes from those we do not know or people who we think are our enemies, but the sad truth is that it could come from someone we are familiar with. That leads me into my first quote of this blog post. “The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” In other words it comes from people we know and love, whether that is family, friends or our partners. I think that is why betrayal hurts a lot because we trust those people, but then they betray us. It could be intentional, but it could be unintentional as well. Either way it still hurts and causes a lot of pain, especially for those who feel betrayed. There is another sad truth to betrayal. It can be explained best by the following quote by Arthur Miller. He says, “Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.” I think he means that betrayal is the only truth that sticks and lingers. I know this feels like a sad post so I will try to keep it short I promise.

There could be a positive side to betrayal as well. You can learn so much from it and it is a reflection of who the other person is, not yourself. That leads me to my last and final quote of this blog post. Well… actually three final quotes. The first one is the following. “When someone betrays you, it is a reflection of their character, not yours.” I think that quote is pretty self explanatory, but I will try to explain it the best I can. Betrayal does not show who you are, but it shows who the betrayer really is and has nothing to do with you. Betrayal in other words is not completely your fault. So you should not have to feel guilty. The second to last quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon says, “Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that away from you.” So in other words, do not let that one bad betrayal destroy what you hold so dear and give to others… trust, which is one if not the most important thing in this world.

In conclusion, betrayal is one of the worst things anyone deals with, but we just have to keep moving on no matter how hard that is. That leads me to my last quote of this blog post, I promise. Carmen Harra says, “Betrayal leaves us at a fork in the road… we can become stuck in a bad moment forever or we can put it behind us for good. We decide our path.” In other words, betrayal gives us two options. One is to let it linger and fester. The other option is to move on and leave it in the past. In all honesty, it is better to choose the second option of moving on and leaving betrayal in the past because it does no good to keep a hold on it for our present or future. I hope that everyone enjoys the following visual poem about one form of betrayal.

“Betrayal of Love” visual poem. Image by Jills from Pixabay.

Dealing With the Players

I am going to apologize ahead of time because I know that this is a topic that I am sure a lot of people are tired of hearing about, but I am going to talk about it anyways and I am sorry if I offend people or if any of this comes across as cruel. It is a subject that is important to me and should be important to everybody (especially the girls and women here because we deal with it on a daily basis). That topic is guys who are players (I am not talking about guys who play sports like hockey, baseball, basketball, etc.). These are guys who are smooth in terms of knowing what to do and what to say around women. I am sorry to say that these guys do not care about other people because they only care about themselves and their egos.

They manipulate women and try to (and for the most part succeed) get what they want. They are selfish and sometimes insecure. Trust me, I know this stuff because I have dealt with a guy like this before back when I was in college. Let us call him A (the same guy I talked about when I went to my friend’s wedding back in May). He has changed now, but he treated me so badly when we were in school together. We were on and off again for about 2 years before it all ended. Sure, he treated me pretty good some of the time and a lot of the time he treated me pretty terribly. I ended up getting hurt, but I am glad that it ended before it got super out of hand. The problem was that I kind of knew he was a player. I heard all these stories about him and other girls. In the end, I chose to ignore what people were saying and I pretended like everything was okay, but in the end, none of it was ever okay. I did not deserve to be treated that way. Of course, at the time I did not know who I was dealing with and in fact, before those experiences with A, I never dealt with someone like him before.

I am bringing this up because I had to talk through with my BFF Marcia (I will not go too much into detail, I promise) about a situation she was dealing with that brought up memories with A. She would be telling me about these things with that guy and it would remind me of A (in fact they could be twins or friends in real life). I gave her advice and told her that she should not be wasting her time on this guy (I know that she deserves someone better). The last thing I want to happen to her is to see her hurt. It sucks, but that type of guy would never care about us or how we feel. Let them deal with whatever they are dealing with and leave them alone. In the end, they are not worth our time and energy. I wrote this poem for my BFF Marcia, but this is for all the girls and women across the word who deal with these types of guys on daily basis. Cheers!

And to those guys who this post is directed towards, I hope that you know that you are doing yourself and girls you hurt a disservice. I hope that you gain a new perspective and realize that you are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting girls who (for the most part) do not deserve it. I am also leaving this poem and quote for you. “Dear Players: Go ahead and play your deceitful little games – lying and manipulating women to get laid – because that’s the only way to get them interested. Maybe you’ll have a different perspective when you’re wiping the tears off your daughter’s face…because she dated a man like you.” (Charles J. Orlando) I really hope that would not take you that long to figure out what you are doing wrong. Take a look at yourself and think about what you should do to change. We are not play things and in the end it really hurts (especially our hearts). I hope that all the guys and girls take what I have to say to heart (no pun intended) because although these types of situations make good writing material, we would rather not see everybody getting hurt because it is painful.

Better Things

He is saying all the right things
And he is making all the right moves,
But you somehow know in
Your heart that he is doing the
Same thing to all the other
Girls too. It is not your fault
And it certainly is not their fault
That he is charming. He is a player
Because he has done this before.
He says that he will change,
But both you and the other girls
Know that will never happen.
Do not be fooled by his
Old fashioned ways or by
The way he treats you
Nicely because he only
Wants one thing. He wants
His fill of you and then
He will be done, leaving you
Heartbroken. I do not want
To see you hurt because
I know that you deserve better.
You deserve more than
Someone who only wants your body.
He will want your mind, body,
And everything else in between.
Although you are hurt now,
At least you know. So I hope
That you do what every strong
Girl does, hold your head up
And keep moving on to
Better things.