Love That Destroyed Us

You know the feeling of falling in love? It is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. It sometimes has the power and ability to destroy us. That is the type of love I will be talking about in this post. Love is a dangerous thing. That brings me to my first quote of this post. “Love is a dangerous weapon; it can either heal you or destroy you completely.” So in other words, love can either help and heal you or it can destroy and break you. It is one thing or another, not both. If you are lucky you will find someone who has the power to destroy you, but does not do so in the end. Hang onto that person because they are one of a kind. We all want to hurt someone, especially when they hurt or try to destroy you. They either do it accidentally or on purpose. The mature thing is to just walk away because as much as you want to hurt or destroy someone who did the same to you it is better to take the higher road. That leads me into my next quote. “Maturity is when you have the power to destroy someone who did you wrong, but you breathe, walk away, and let life take care of them.” In other words, it is better to let karma do its work.

This is going to be a short post, so I will conclude with one final quote and that will be it for this post. There is a reason why some relationships fail while others do not. That leads me into my final couple of quotes of this post. “Most relationships tend to fail. Not because of absence of love. Love is always present. It’s just that one loves too much and the other loves too little.” In the end, that is why love can destroy us. There is one more quote to wrap things up here. Anna Todd says “When you love people, you don’t let them destroy you along with themselves, you don’t allow them to drag you through the mud. You try to help them, try to save them, but the moment that your love is one-sided or selfish, if you keep trying, you are a fool.” I think that quote is self explanatory and sums up what this post is all about. I hope you enjoy the following poem which won me a competition I participated in on DUP.

Love as a One-Way Street

We were like embers in the night sky
Burning bright only for us to see, but
How is it that our signals got tangled?
In hindsight you were the wrong guy
For I wanted to get you out of the rut
You were stuck in while you handled

Me like a dynamite stick… too damn
Cautious and shut down a possibility
To rekindle what we lost in the fire.
You wanted to move on as I slammed
The door closed. I take no responsibility
For your happiness as I have no desire

To love someone who stopped loving
Me in return. You got your wish for
Me to stop trying. You may think this
Was all a game or that I was bluffing
Or that I was trying to even the score,
But the truth is that you lost and missed

Every chance. Our love was like a one-
Way street. I had to walk away with my
Head held high and with my love you
Destroyed because even with the sun
In my generous heart I could never try
To hurt yours that remains forever blue.


Overcoming Addiction & Recovery

This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time. I know that a lot of people struggle with addiction on a daily basis. It is like what Jm Storm says. “we’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.” Whether it is drugs, alcohol, gambling, or something else, it can be difficult to quit cold turkey. An addiction can also come in the form of a person. I think it is quite possible to become addicted to another person. Many of us have been struggling with these issues for many years. Addiction is not easy for the addicts themselves, but it can also take a toll on the people around him/her. It can be draining and sucking the energy/life out of everyone involved. Addiction can also be self destructive which leads me into this next quote. “The worst part about anything that’s self destructive is that it’s so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive.” That is why quitting your addictions is so hard. It is sometimes like cutting off something that you needed in order to survive and live.

What comes after addiction is what we call the “recovery” process and that could include anything from rehab to therapy, etc. I admire those who realize that they have a problem and decide to overcome their addictions because recovery is just as hard as the addiction itself. DW says “Those who overcome addictions may be the strongest people on the planet.” Those people are strong and brave. They are my personal heroes. I thought I would combine these two subjects together because they go together. You cannot overcome addiction without the recovery process. To some people it is scary to enter the recovery and sobriety phases because they realize that they cannot rely on the things they used to before. It is pretty much like starting your life over or starting with a new slate. It is one of the scariest things to do in life.

How people choose to recover is their own decision. In other words, it varies from person to person and is very personal. Recovery is all about acceptance. That leads me into my next quote by Jamie Lee Curtis. She says “Recovery is an acceptance that your life is in shambles and you have to change it.” So in other words you have to accept that your life is falling apart and you have to be willing to change it. I have been wanting to talk about this subject for a long time and I finally feel like I have the courage to publish this post. I hope whatever it is that people are addicted to, they take the courage to get over that addiction. I know that it is hard, especially if it something that passes down from one generation to the next like alcoholism. Anyways, I hope this post and poem provides some inspiration, especially for those who are struggling with their addictions every day. I am thinking about each and every one of you! This post is what I am concluding 2020 with. I will see you in the new year!! Cheers!

Letting Go of Addiction

Maybe it is your eyes that drew me in and got me hooked,
But there is something about you that is like a piece of art.
You know how to fuel my addiction like adding wood to
The burning fire. Every time that you glanced and looked
My way it is like my soul had a mind of its own. My heart
And essence is what you took. Some part of me just knew
That I did not want any of it back. I just knew that it was
Going to be coming back to me bloody and blue. It is like
You squeezed the life out of something I used to think
Was so beautiful and chaotic. You sunk your sharp claws
Deeply into me, trying to keep me in place like a shrike
Looking for its next prey. It is when I got to the brink
And edge of destruction that I finally thought I needed
To break this endless cycle. I could not keep going back
To something that would leave me with nothing that I
Could mend, fix, rebuild or begin anew. It is as if I weeded
Out all the bad toxins. My life had to get on the right track
Again. I had to push aside all the tears I knew I would cry
When I was missing you and during the detoxification
Process. That is when I begin to heal and rise up from
The ashes like a phoenix. That is when I knew I had
To stop the addiction. I depart from a new station
And a new place, going towards the light. With some
New and old memories along the way. Being clad
In armor, but not being afraid to let new things
And experiences come in. Once again I find my wings.

Healing

You know the saying “time heals all wounds?” Sometimes I wonder where that expression comes from, but let’s not worry about that too much. Sometimes time does heal all wounds, sometimes it heals some wounds and sometimes it does not heal any wounds. It just works out that way for whatever reason. Let us not worry about time that heals wounds because there are other things that heal wounds and scars. For me that would be words, music, writing, reading and poetry all together. For other people they find other ways to heal including therapy, being busy, etc.

There is this quote I found that rings so true for the healing process. “Everything heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad times don’t last.” In other words, we all have something that needs healing, whether it is mentally or physically or emotionally or any other versions of healing you can imagine or think of. That quote is pretty much saying that almost everything can and will heal over a period of time or however long it takes. I want to point that out because everybody’s healing process is different. For some people it can only take days and for other people it could take weeks, months and sometimes even years to heal fully.

As I have said before and as that quote points out even your happiness will find a way to come back. Happiness has a way of healing as well just like almost everything else. Healing is a process and is something that takes time. It is something that you have to work on every single day, no matter what. Leon Brown says that “Healing is not an overnight process. It is a daily cleansing of pain, it is a daily healing of your life.” That goes for healing when you are in recovery from whatever issues you might have. As I have said before it takes time to heal. It also takes patience and trust because you cannot rush the process. Healing is one of the hardest things to do and is not that easy for the most part. Just stick with it and you may turn out to see something beautiful in the end. Just hang in there. Cheers!! Here is a poem to celebrate the healing process.

Healing

The words heal the heartache.
It erases the everlasting pain.
There is never any mistake

In the feelings. The words stain
The pages like blood and ink.
The flow replaces the rain

And tears. Everything I think
Hard about come alive in
The rhythm. I no longer sink

And relive every bad sin.
I am floating in the clouds.
I feel alive in my own skin.

Get me away from the crowds
And into my own quiet space.
Let the words become shrouds

And shields of armor. Trace
Over your story with your pen.
Let the gentleness and lace

Like pattern tell you when
To open up your heart. You
Will be able to fully heal again.