Love of the Darkness

I know that I have talked about the combination of the light and darkness, but in this post I am only focusing on the darkness. I know we always want to talk about the light because we all have light and it lets us focus on something we can see. I love the light, but sometimes I like the darkness too. I am probably not alone in that sentiment. I know a lot of people who love the darkness in particular. There is a word for it and that is “nyctophile” which literally means “a person who loves night, darkness.” There is also “nyctophilia” which is defined as “love of darkness or night. Finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.” Like I have said, I know people who are like that. There is nothing wrong with the darkness because it teaches us something and we learn more about ourselves in the darkness. I am not saying the light is less important that the darkness, but in the darkness we really learn who is there for us and teaches us good lessons.

When people think of darkness, they usually think of something bad, but darkness can be something good as well. In other words, darkness has a bad stigma attached to it. I love the darkness myself because it can be soothing sometimes and I can also see the stars. I am a person who loves the stars so much and maybe I will talk about it in a different post. We love the light for a particular reason and we love the darkness for a particular reason as well. One of those reasons is talked about in this quote by Og Mandino and it is one of my favorite quotes as well. “I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” We can see the darkness emerge from other people, but it can also come from ourselves. Sometimes we have an irrational fear of the unknown, which is what the darkness sometimes represents. In other words, we know the light so well, but the darkness is the unknown or unfamiliar.

Although darkness can be terrifying, I think that there is something beautiful and amazing that comes from the darkness. That leads me into this quote. “Normal people have no idea how beautiful the darkness is.” Even people who are good are drawn to the darkness and there is nothing wrong with that. That leads me into another quote, which I think came from “The Vampire Diaries” TV show. One of the characters Klaus says it. “Don’t underestimate the allure of darkness. Even the purest of hearts are drawn to it.” In other words, we should never underestimate the power darkness can sometimes have because even the people who have the purest and good intentions can be drawn to it. I think we all have this part within us that are drawn to the darkness and we cannot stop. The darkness helps us see at least a couple of things we would never see otherwise like the stars, for example like I have talked about before. It also shows a part of us that we would never see otherwise.

I want to conclude this post by saying that darkness can have some power, but we cannot let it completely control us because that will take us down a different path. That is a path we sometimes do not want to go down. Sometimes you have to learn to embrace at least some darkness because we would not be here if there was no darkness whatsoever. Think about it this way… where would the stars be without darkness? If we had no darkness there would be no night and certainly no sleep although there are some people who probably do not sleep at all.  I hope my readers, especially those who are afraid of the darkness, learn to love the darkness at least a little bit. It can become your friend and teacher. Enjoy!!

Love of the Dark

Darkness, coming from the shadows
And depths. Like dark ocean water going
Over your head. You are without clothes
Or something to protect you. It is showing
You something about yourself you would
Never see or notice in the light. It is a mirror,
It reflects all of the bad, ugly and good
Parts of yourself. It is murky, but is clearer
Like the dark and starry sky above you
When you lie down on the soft grass.
You begin to lose the brightness and blue
Sky but you get a look through the glass.
It is for the people who are fearless, brave
And not afraid of anything or anyone, not
Even the demons. Do not let it enslave
You or let it become something that brought
You down to your knees and a prayer.
It is more than a simple and cold touch.
Darkness is everything that is threadbare,
Warm and worn out. It is not a crutch.

Be Fearless

Demi talks about being fearless in one of her entries in her book and so does Taylor Swift in her album by the same name. Here’s a part of what Taylor says that’s in the album cover booklet: “To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death…” I think it’s up to us what to do about those fears, but that’s besides the point. We’re all scared, that’s just a part of life. That’s one thing I always try to strive to be, regardless of the situation or what happens in life.

I think that’s why I’m so drawn to theatre and performing arts, especially acting. First of all, people have always told me I’m fearless and bold because it takes courage to even try acting. My acting teachers that I’ve had always say to be fearless in the choices you make, both on and off stage (thanks Elizabeth). Nobody can make those choices for you, only you can. And secondly to perform in front of other people is being fearless.

Fearlessness goes hand in hand with being vulnerable. People told me I’m fearless for starting this blog. Other people say I’m fearless for writing and sharing my work with the world. That’s being fearless and vulnerable. I know that I can be fearless and vulnerable in many aspects of my life. However, one thing I’m trying to be more fearless and vulnerable about is expressing my feelings to other people. It’s about being honest and being open. When you’re vulnerable and fearless it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re willing to share and receive things that are sometimes deep down. It’s all about being strong in the end.

You can’t always hide things deep down where they’re bottled up. I found this quote that says that, “Sometimes you can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you just by keeping all your feelings hidden.” I think it’s better to have everything out in the open rather than keeping things hidden. I know it’s hard, but it’s worth a try. Feelings are as real and vulnerable as they come. Through this I am sharing things that are personal. 

Real Feelings

Feelings cannot be pushed

Away and shoved aside

Because feelings are real.

They aren’t to be judged

Or criticized. I can try to

Fight those feelings and

Pretend they don’t exist

Or I can show them

For people to see.

Don’t you feel them too?

It’s like putting your hand

Over my heart and hearing

It beat. You have control

Over it as much as I do.

It’s a rhythm that won’t stop

Until I take my last breath.

These feelings for you

Don’t and won’t go away.

They only grow stronger

With more connection

And force. It’s erupting

Like molten lava.

I hope you’re there to

Catch the spill overflowing.

Once it starts it can’t stop

Unless you’re willing to

Mop it all up and let it

All dry up.