Hindsight and Do Not Look Back

I have been blessed to be a part of this online community called Deep Underground Poetry. It is an online community of poets and writers. You can post your work and get critique. They also host competitions. One of these competitions was for visual poetry and the theme was hindsight. The contest description was “Think back to a difficult time in your life. What would you say to yourself? Or what do you wish someone had said to you at the time.” One of the things I talked about within my piece is to not look back. I remember a post about leaving the past in the past or letting go of the past. That is more or less what I am talking about but the metaphor I would like to use in this case is the rearview mirror. I remember when I posted that piece on DUP and one of my comments on that was “That’s why the windshield is always bigger than the rearview or side mirrors.” I thought to myself that is so true. So one of my metaphors has become to not look back and to stop looking in the rearview mirror because we are not going that way.

I am not saying that we do not learn anything from the past or anything like that because we still do, but we cannot continue to look back when there is so much ahead of this. That is especially important when we go through our difficult times. It is why I never like focusing on the past. It keeps us distracted from where we are going and that is what in part this quote says. “Even thought there are days I wish I could change some things in the past, there’s a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big, where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.” That quote is so true because although we want to go back and change things we should not. They are a part of our journey and mistakes give us lessons learned. There will be a post about lessons and mistakes some other time, but the lesson if we were to talk them right here is to essentially look forward instead of backwards. That is what I would highly recommend to my readers as well.

I hope that all of my readers can take this advice and find a way to move forward with their lives. If we are so busy looking backwards and into the rearview mirror then we cannot see what is ahead of us. There is this quote that I love by C.S. Lewis. He says “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” In other words, we look ahead because there might be better things there than what we leave behind. That is why we try to forget the past as much as we can, especially the painful parts. I know that I keep talking about the past, but I keep talking about it because of its importance. I am doing something a little different here and including one of my visual poems, which pretty much text over an image. The photo was taken on a drive my roommate I decided to go on when we needed a break from studying. I hope everybody enjoys something slightly different from me this time. Cheers!!

Dealing With the Players

I am going to apologize ahead of time because I know that this is a topic that I am sure a lot of people are tired of hearing about, but I am going to talk about it anyways and I am sorry if I offend people or if any of this comes across as cruel. It is a subject that is important to me and should be important to everybody (especially the girls and women here because we deal with it on a daily basis). That topic is guys who are players (I am not talking about guys who play sports like hockey, baseball, basketball, etc.). These are guys who are smooth in terms of knowing what to do and what to say around women. I am sorry to say that these guys do not care about other people because they only care about themselves and their egos.

They manipulate women and try to (and for the most part succeed) get what they want. They are selfish and sometimes insecure. Trust me, I know this stuff because I have dealt with a guy like this before back when I was in college. Let us call him A (the same guy I talked about when I went to my friend’s wedding back in May). He has changed now, but he treated me so badly when we were in school together. We were on and off again for about 2 years before it all ended. Sure, he treated me pretty good some of the time and a lot of the time he treated me pretty terribly. I ended up getting hurt, but I am glad that it ended before it got super out of hand. The problem was that I kind of knew he was a player. I heard all these stories about him and other girls. In the end, I chose to ignore what people were saying and I pretended like everything was okay, but in the end, none of it was ever okay. I did not deserve to be treated that way. Of course, at the time I did not know who I was dealing with and in fact, before those experiences with A, I never dealt with someone like him before.

I am bringing this up because I had to talk through with my BFF Marcia (I will not go too much into detail, I promise) about a situation she was dealing with that brought up memories with A. She would be telling me about these things with that guy and it would remind me of A (in fact they could be twins or friends in real life). I gave her advice and told her that she should not be wasting her time on this guy (I know that she deserves someone better). The last thing I want to happen to her is to see her hurt. It sucks, but that type of guy would never care about us or how we feel. Let them deal with whatever they are dealing with and leave them alone. In the end, they are not worth our time and energy. I wrote this poem for my BFF Marcia, but this is for all the girls and women across the word who deal with these types of guys on daily basis. Cheers!

And to those guys who this post is directed towards, I hope that you know that you are doing yourself and girls you hurt a disservice. I hope that you gain a new perspective and realize that you are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting girls who (for the most part) do not deserve it. I am also leaving this poem and quote for you. “Dear Players: Go ahead and play your deceitful little games – lying and manipulating women to get laid – because that’s the only way to get them interested. Maybe you’ll have a different perspective when you’re wiping the tears off your daughter’s face…because she dated a man like you.” (Charles J. Orlando) I really hope that would not take you that long to figure out what you are doing wrong. Take a look at yourself and think about what you should do to change. We are not play things and in the end it really hurts (especially our hearts). I hope that all the guys and girls take what I have to say to heart (no pun intended) because although these types of situations make good writing material, we would rather not see everybody getting hurt because it is painful.

Better Things

He is saying all the right things
And he is making all the right moves,
But you somehow know in
Your heart that he is doing the
Same thing to all the other
Girls too. It is not your fault
And it certainly is not their fault
That he is charming. He is a player
Because he has done this before.
He says that he will change,
But both you and the other girls
Know that will never happen.
Do not be fooled by his
Old fashioned ways or by
The way he treats you
Nicely because he only
Wants one thing. He wants
His fill of you and then
He will be done, leaving you
Heartbroken. I do not want
To see you hurt because
I know that you deserve better.
You deserve more than
Someone who only wants your body.
He will want your mind, body,
And everything else in between.
Although you are hurt now,
At least you know. So I hope
That you do what every strong
Girl does, hold your head up
And keep moving on to
Better things.