Control

As Demi points out in her book and it’s also something I’ve been thinking about too, we all have the need to be in control. I’m not sure if it’s something we crave just because or if there’s a deeper meaning behind this whole idea of control. When I think of the word  “control” I think of something as simple as when I’m watching TV with my parents and someone has “control” over the remote when we’re watching. We may argue over who has the remote, who controls the volume, and who controls the channel (or content). Another word for control might be domination or something a bit over the top. I know control is hard to give up sometimes, it’s like giving up your power. However, giving up control doesn’t make you weak. Whether you’re in control or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay to feel out of control because that’s how life goes. Life can’t always be planned and is always in constant change.

I know I’ve said it’s okay to give up that control. Sometimes you have to hand it over to other people or just let it go in general. However, sometimes you have to be very careful who you hand that control over to. There are some people who have your best interests at heart, but there are those who you shouldn’t give that control to. One thing to always remember is to never let anybody have control over your life. It’s called your life for a reason because it’s yours and nobody else’s. Plans go hand in hand with control. Plans change all the time and that’s also okay. I am still learning to let things go and let things happen the way they do. Here’s to letting go of some of our control and not all of it.

Control

We wish we could relinquish control

But we have the need to uphold

Our fear and to hold

On for dear life. Otherwise the panic

Will set in and we’ll feel the manic

In our bones. We need to look at the panoramic

View and get rid of the anxiety.

Otherwise we’ll just hang onto the ivy.

We have to be in touch with our psyche.

Some things are hard to predict

Like feelings which are hard to admit.

If we go down to the stripped

And raw soul we can let go

Of the life we planned. The flow

Will always shift to and fro.

We can never change that but we

Have the power to see

And believe

That things happen for a reason.

Control can be like demons,

They can leave you screaming

Inside your head. Sometimes

It’s just easier to cross those lines

And to say those goodbyes.

P.S. Here’s the revised version of the above poem, with a little help from one of my friends. It has the same title as before.

Relinquish fear and hold
on for dear life. Otherwise panic
sets in and we’ll feel
manic in our bones.

Look to the panoramic view.
Anxiety winds round
us like ivy.
Touch the inner psyche.

Danger hard to predict.
Insecurities hard to admit.
Reveal the stripped soul and let go.
Float with the changes of the flow.

Control the demons inside.
Cross those lines.
Do what’s right:
say goodbyes.

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Elena

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Growing up, I went to Berkeley public schools up until I left California to attend McDaniel College, located in Westminster, MD. I graduated from McDaniel College with a B.A. in Theatre Arts with a focus in Acting.

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