Muse and Inspiration

One of the definitions that pops up in the dictionary for the word muse states that it is “a source of inspiration; especially :a guiding genius” (source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary).  So you now know what I am going to be talking about. Muses and inspiration, which is also something that can also motivate you too. What is your muse? What is your inspiration? Those are only a couple of the many questions people ask me, especially when they learn that I write and I have more than one answer for those questions. Sometimes I might say it would everyday life. I might say that a certain situation or place. Sometimes it could be something that could have happened in the past. The list can go on and on. Sometimes my inspiration and muse can take shape. Furthermore, it can turn into a person or vice versa where the person shapes into inspiration. However you want to view that… go ahead. I am sure that everybody has someone or something that inspires them and is a muse. Being a muse dates back years and years. How do you think artists create what they create? There must have been someone to inspire Leonardo da Vinci to paint the Mona Lisa. Without a muse or inspiration there would be no art or music or anything else in this world that we view as art.

This is my opinion, but it feels like there are two different types of people in this world. This quote says it the best. “You’re either the Artist or the Muse. Each comes with its own set of complications; each with its own unwavering power.” There are artists and there are muses. Each one of these people comes with a power. For the artist, it is creating art and for the muse it is being the inspiration/motivation. Like I have said before a muse does not necessarily have to be another person. It could be an object or a major life event. In fact, it could be yourself. One of my favorite artists Friday Kahlo says it the best. “I am my own muse, I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.” I do not know about other people who write or are other versions of artists, but sometimes a muse/inspiration can help my pieces improve drastically. It is because of that I want to take this moment to say thank you to those people, as well as situations and with everything else that been a part of my inspiration. This is for you, although we can also change it.

Muse as a Person

Time stood still when we are face to face.
It is not so much what you look like, but who
You are as a person. I want to continue to trace
Across your chest so I remember it is always you
Who inspires me. You are my muse and my one
True reality. You always feel like the starkness
When all I want is nothing more than to run
Far away from the shadows and the darkness.
You always lift me up and you motivate me
To be a better person. You push me hard
To follow my dreams and aspirations. You see
That I would do the same for you. As scarred
As we might be, we are invincible. The dark
Corners of my mind and the doubts that are
Floating around turn into a beautiful lark,
Flying. Darling, their raw beauty does not mar
Or become ugly like weeds. You somehow
Have that power to turn the wordsmith
Part of me into a songstress and plough
Through the bad days. Your love is no myth

Hindsight and Do Not Look Back

I have been blessed to be a part of this online community called Deep Underground Poetry. It is an online community of poets and writers. You can post your work and get critique. They also host competitions. One of these competitions was for visual poetry and the theme was hindsight. The contest description was “Think back to a difficult time in your life. What would you say to yourself? Or what do you wish someone had said to you at the time.” One of the things I talked about within my piece is to not look back. I remember a post about leaving the past in the past or letting go of the past. That is more or less what I am talking about but the metaphor I would like to use in this case is the rearview mirror. I remember when I posted that piece on DUP and one of my comments on that was “That’s why the windshield is always bigger than the rearview or side mirrors.” I thought to myself that is so true. So one of my metaphors has become to not look back and to stop looking in the rearview mirror because we are not going that way.

I am not saying that we do not learn anything from the past or anything like that because we still do, but we cannot continue to look back when there is so much ahead of this. That is especially important when we go through our difficult times. It is why I never like focusing on the past. It keeps us distracted from where we are going and that is what in part this quote says. “Even thought there are days I wish I could change some things in the past, there’s a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big, where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.” That quote is so true because although we want to go back and change things we should not. They are a part of our journey and mistakes give us lessons learned. There will be a post about lessons and mistakes some other time, but the lesson if we were to talk them right here is to essentially look forward instead of backwards. That is what I would highly recommend to my readers as well.

I hope that all of my readers can take this advice and find a way to move forward with their lives. If we are so busy looking backwards and into the rearview mirror then we cannot see what is ahead of us. There is this quote that I love by C.S. Lewis. He says “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” In other words, we look ahead because there might be better things there than what we leave behind. That is why we try to forget the past as much as we can, especially the painful parts. I know that I keep talking about the past, but I keep talking about it because of its importance. I am doing something a little different here and including one of my visual poems, which pretty much text over an image. The photo was taken on a drive my roommate I decided to go on when we needed a break from studying. I hope everybody enjoys something slightly different from me this time. Cheers!!

Let It All Out

There are days when we are feeling so much on the inside that we need to let it out. I know that because I have those days too. If we keep things in for too long, they will become what we call “bottled up” emotions and feelings. Keeping things bottled up is not always healthy. That is why something like kickboxing or maybe screaming into your pillow or writing in a journal or diary or having a good cry is a good thing. There is one thing that I do that helps and that is to keep a notebook. This quote explains why. “Buy a notebook. Write down what you want. Write about what hurts you. Show it to someone you love. Save it for your children. Burn it in your back yard. Either way, go to bed knowing that in some way, those things are out of you.” There are productive ways of letting things out like I mentioned above and there are unproductive ways of letting things out. I am not saying that there is any right way to let things out, but there are ways to let things out that do not help anybody, including yourself. Things like punching a wall or getting in trouble with the law or physically hurting yourself or others does not help at all. If you feel like you need to do those things do something else to keep your mind off it or seek help from professionals and/or family members and/or friends. Something as simple as talking things out also helps.

However, there are also things that should not be let out. That brings me to this quote. Nick Burd says “Let it all out. If only I could. Letting it all out would involve me exploding like a firework, a beautiful riot of rainbow sparks bouncing around the car and lighting up the entire lot.” So like I said there are some things that should and should not be let out. It is just how things work. This is one of my shorter posts, not because it is not important but because that concludes all that needs to be said about this subject matter. I strongly encourage my readers to let it all out in a productive way. That leads me to the last quote of this post. “If you don’t let it out, you’re going to let it eat you away.” So let it out because otherwise it will all just sit and fester into something much worse later down the road. On that note, I hope that you all enjoyed this one. Happy reading!!

Let It All Out

I cannot live in a lifetime of sin and
Disappointment. I just simply want to
Hang off the ledge. I take my hand
And want to ram it into the wall. If you
Look at me like I am psycho or crazy
I do not really care because I am tired
Of being the sane one. I want the hazy
Fog to disappear. I want to get fired
Up and scream it all out until I collapse.
I want to cry until there are no more
Tears left. Maybe then the gaps
And hiccups will be gone. The door
Remains where it is. All I have to is
Step through its frame and be done.
For once I just want things to fizz
And fade out. I know that I still won.

Making Choices and Decisions

There is a point in our lives where we have to make choices and decisions, especially really difficult ones. I do not know about my readers, but I am one of those people who can be indecisive, especially when they are put on the spot with questions like “What do you want to eat?” or “Where do you want to go?” Questions like those are hard for me, especially if someone else is asking me. I even just have a hard time making decisions or choices on my own. I know those seem like trivial questions, especially when there are way more difficult choices or decision to make. Sometimes choices and decisions have to be made about people as well. Questions like “Do I want this person to continue to be a part of my life?” or “Should I just walk away?” Those are harder choices to make. Every day there is a choice or decision to be made. We have to do our best to stick with them, no matter how hard or difficult they are. We all know the answers deep within and that voice is something you should listen to. We have all made choices or decisions about the people we want to be, who we want to surround ourselves with, what we want to do for work and for “romantic” relationships/partners. I am going to put a quote right here, which my friend BreAnna has shared too as she had to make a hard decision about leaving her job. “Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” That is part of the reason why they are so hard, especially if it is something you have always wanted to or who you always wanted to end up with, etc.

Some people may ask “What should I do when I have to make a hard choice or decision?” There is simply no right or wrong answer to this because every person or situation varies. Sometimes it is easier to ask someone else for help, but sometimes we want to be a grown up and figure it out for ourselves. I know this seems pretty basic, but sometimes you flip a coin. This quote explains why. “When you need to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air you suddenly know what you’re hoping for.” So flipping a coin is not necessarily to make the decision or choice, but you will know the answer when it is up in the air. I also think that there is a 50/50 chance of something happening, hence the coin. I think the very reason why people do not want to make choices or decisions is because sometimes we want others to make them for us. It just happens that way because we like some control, but not always a lot if that makes sense.

Sometimes it feels like we will make a bad decision or choice no matter what we do. Like I said before we have to make a choice or decision and stick with it. That brings me too my next quote by Doe Zantamata, who is another one of my heroes. She says. “Decisions. We can think about things, turn them over in our minds a million times, play out possible scenarios, but really when it comes down to it, you have to go with your heart and move forward. Maybe things will go well. Maybe they’ll turn out poorly. Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.” Maybe deep down that is what is so hard about making decisions because like I have said before it feels like we make a wrong decision or choice, but it is better to make one and stick with it rather that just not making any choices or decisions whatsoever. In other words it is better trying and making mistakes rather than not trying at all. That is just the way life goes.

Here is to all my readers as you all make decisions and choices. I am right there with you and I know how hard it is. Happy reading. P.S. When I posted this poem on DUP, I got some of the best advice. That is and I quote “My Father used to say, ‘When in doubt, wait.’ Sometimes waiting is the next thing to do.” I have to agree with that advice. That goes for any situation. Wait it out because sometimes you do not want to make a choice or decision based what you feel in the moment. You have to make your choices and decisions because it is your life. That is a part of being an adult and being happy. It is all about making decisions and sticking with them. You should love your decisions and choices. So I am going to conclude this post with another quote. “The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them.” So in other words, go ahead and make those decisions while being happy about them, then you do not need other people’s approval. Like I said, I am right here for you as you make these sometimes life-altering decisions and choices.

Coming to a Decision

It feels like I will make a wrong decision no matter
What I do. I turn one way and it is my future staring
Me right in the face. When I turn to see the splatter
Of tears, rain and a brewing storm tearing
Across the sky the other way, I am caught right in
The middle. For once I do not know what to do
Or maybe I do know in my heart and under my skin
That I have to make some kind of choice. It is you
Or without you because there is no in between
When you have a spot, but I cannot let you stop
Me from moving on. Life is always a moving screen
And door. Darling, I wish that I could drop
Everything now, but something is keeping me
In place. Maybe it is because we have tried for far
Too long or maybe there is still some hope I see
For a future. I wish I could look to the North Star
So it can point me in the right direction, but
It is all left up to me. Everything might just blow
Up. I hate being stuck in this situation and rut
When I simply do not know where to go
When it comes down to you. I need to find
A solid answer, but something may get left behind.

Losing Friendship

I know that I have talked a lot about this already, but we have all lost something or someone at some point. There is a big chance we lose something as important as a friendship. Maybe you have a difference of opinions or maybe they were never your friend to begin with or the friendship simply fades over time. For one of the first times in my life I lost an important friendship and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. I will not go into details too much, but let us just say that is a friendship that could be lost forever. I am sorry for how it happened, but in hindsight I could see it coming from a mile away. I know that losing a friendship can be unexpected, but as time goes on it is bound to happen at some point as this quote says. Xzavier Zulu says, “Slowly as the years go on, you lose friends you never thought you would.” Trust me, it can be hard to lose something like that.

I am not here to bash anyone because I am not like that, but sometimes you can gain a friendship just as quickly as you can lose one. That is what I found within this quote. “You can gain a friend in a year but lose a friend in a minute.” In other words, you can lose a good friend just like that. Sometimes you can gain a good friend in the process too. For example, I lost a good friendship, but I became closer to my mom and other people in the meanwhile. I feel like friendship is a very important thing to talk about because without good friends I do not think that I would be here. I hate to be harsh, but I feel like a friend should support you no matter what and if they cannot support you or at least try to then they should not be your friend to begin with. I feel like that you should be making your own decisions and choices while living your life, but try not to let your friends “control” or dictate how you live your life.

So here is to losing friendship, but do not be too down or sad about it because you just have to pick yourself up and move on. There are many more friendships down the line and for the most part they may be better than other ones you have had. What I am saying in all of this is that if they are “toxic” or “bad” or really question and always pick apart your choices then they really are not your friend. Just be thankful for the strong friendships you already have. Be glad for those that have endured over time, no matter of the wear and tear. Do not lose sleep over the lost and ends to friendships. No pun intended. There is an overall lesson to be learned. Enjoy this poem!! Just a side note here… my intention is not to intentionally hurt anyone, but to shine a light, some truth and some insight, even when it may not always come from a good place. I just want to apologize if anybody takes offense to this post. It was not my intention to do so.

End to a Friendship
I could feel us beginning to drift apart
Like cars going in opposite directions
Down the freeway. I knew in my heart
When we could not overcome corrections
To fix our friendship, which was already
On the brink. Something that used to
Bring us together was becoming unsteady
And separating us. Maye you also knew
That all of this was coming to an end.
You are not on my side anymore and
I have to realize you are not a good friend.
Don’t you want to see me happy? We stand
On other sides of the spectrum now.
I still wish you the best because there are
No hard feelings, but I am sad this is how
We ended up. There is going to be a scar
Where you used to be. Now one of my
Closest friendships has died and faded out.
There is no way to give this all another try
Because that was the last and final strikeout.

Memories and Moments

Life… I feel like it is all made of memories and moments. One thing I think of to represent this would be a kaleidoscope. We do our best to try to hang onto them because after a while they sometimes disappear forever. I am someone who loves taking pictures for at least a couple of reasons. I want to remember those moments/memories because I am one of those people who have a good long term memory, but a terrible short term memory, partially because of my LD. Sometimes people have to tell me something at least three times before it sets in and on the other hand, I can remember something that happened years ago. I also love taking photos just because and I love taking pictures. I do remember something my brother said to me before I took a trip to Budapest when I was in college. I was so excited to be in Budapest and taking tons of pictures. He said something I can never forget. I do not remember word for word what he said, but he said something like “Forget about taking pictures and just soak it all in. Enjoy being there.” It really is true because sometimes taking it all in and experiencing all of those things gives you memories to last a lifetime. In fact, that brings me to this quote by Cesare Pavese. “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” It is so true how we remember moments as well as memories.

Moments, as well as memories are precious and super special, especially when they are with at least one special person. In fact, sometimes they are downright one of the best things in the world, especially when you are looking back on the memories and they bring a smile to your face. This brings me to this quote. “The best things in life are the people you love, the places you go, and the memories you make.” It is true that you make memories and moments. It is also true that we have bad memories and moments, but we should not focus too much on those although those taught us something as well. I included both memories and moments in this post because they are pretty much the same things, but they can be slightly different. Memories I feel like are something to look back on while moments can sometimes be right now, in the present, like present moments for example. Sometimes you cannot help, but crave them with the right person or people. This post is extra special to me, so I included a couple of poems. Hang strong, my readers and I hope you all remember the good memories/moments in life before they are gone. The truth is that you sometimes have to let them go too. Enjoy!!

Craving Those Moments

In this moment, I know that I cannot leave
You behind, no matter how difficult it all
Gets. It is in those moments when you grieve
That I really see and feel you. When you crawl
Into that hole, I am right behind you. I give
You my shoulder for you to lean on because
I am your pillar. Darling, I always try to live
For those moments when life is always abuzz.
We get to shut out the silence and sadness
That threatens to spill in between the cracks.
It is when the world is filled with madness
And craziness that I crave life’s quiet climax.
I want those moments of solitude with you
And nobody else. You keep me level headed,
Calm and stable when nobody else can. Barely two
Years of this but I cannot get used to our threaded
Hands and palms fast enough. Our hearts are deeply
Intertwined and connected. Please just say
That you will always find a way to keep me
Because that is all I want and we meet halfway.

Summer Memories With You

You were my summer – full of sunlight,
Smiles, laughter, easiness, being able
To relax, and forgetting about those
Fall and winter days. Then the weather
Got colder and you were gone like the sun
Disappearing behind the clouds.
I wish I could keep those moments
Snuggling up with you until the sun rises
Close to my heart, but you probably
Already forgot about me. You are
Probably making some new memories
With some other girl. I hope she gets
To know all those things deep down
Inside of you that you told me when
You could not fall asleep. I hope that
She gets to hear your laughter and
Your singing voice that I was entranced
With. I hope that she gets to hold your
Hand when she needs comfort like I did.
I hope that she holds onto you tight
Like I tried to do. She does not want to
Lose you because you mean everything
To her like you once did for me.
You were my good summer memories.

Love of the Darkness

I know that I have talked about the combination of the light and darkness, but in this post I am only focusing on the darkness. I know we always want to talk about the light because we all have light and it lets us focus on something we can see. I love the light, but sometimes I like the darkness too. I am probably not alone in that sentiment. I know a lot of people who love the darkness in particular. There is a word for it and that is “nyctophile” which literally means “a person who loves night, darkness.” There is also “nyctophilia” which is defined as “love of darkness or night. Finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.” Like I have said, I know people who are like that. There is nothing wrong with the darkness because it teaches us something and we learn more about ourselves in the darkness. I am not saying the light is less important that the darkness, but in the darkness we really learn who is there for us and teaches us good lessons.

When people think of darkness, they usually think of something bad, but darkness can be something good as well. In other words, darkness has a bad stigma attached to it. I love the darkness myself because it can be soothing sometimes and I can also see the stars. I am a person who loves the stars so much and maybe I will talk about it in a different post. We love the light for a particular reason and we love the darkness for a particular reason as well. One of those reasons is talked about in this quote by Og Mandino and it is one of my favorite quotes as well. “I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” We can see the darkness emerge from other people, but it can also come from ourselves. Sometimes we have an irrational fear of the unknown, which is what the darkness sometimes represents. In other words, we know the light so well, but the darkness is the unknown or unfamiliar.

Although darkness can be terrifying, I think that there is something beautiful and amazing that comes from the darkness. That leads me into this quote. “Normal people have no idea how beautiful the darkness is.” Even people who are good are drawn to the darkness and there is nothing wrong with that. That leads me into another quote, which I think came from “The Vampire Diaries” TV show. One of the characters Klaus says it. “Don’t underestimate the allure of darkness. Even the purest of hearts are drawn to it.” In other words, we should never underestimate the power darkness can sometimes have because even the people who have the purest and good intentions can be drawn to it. I think we all have this part within us that are drawn to the darkness and we cannot stop. The darkness helps us see at least a couple of things we would never see otherwise like the stars, for example like I have talked about before. It also shows a part of us that we would never see otherwise.

I want to conclude this post by saying that darkness can have some power, but we cannot let it completely control us because that will take us down a different path. That is a path we sometimes do not want to go down. Sometimes you have to learn to embrace at least some darkness because we would not be here if there was no darkness whatsoever. Think about it this way… where would the stars be without darkness? If we had no darkness there would be no night and certainly no sleep although there are some people who probably do not sleep at all.  I hope my readers, especially those who are afraid of the darkness, learn to love the darkness at least a little bit. It can become your friend and teacher. Enjoy!!

Love of the Dark

Darkness, coming from the shadows
And depths. Like dark ocean water going
Over your head. You are without clothes
Or something to protect you. It is showing
You something about yourself you would
Never see or notice in the light. It is a mirror,
It reflects all of the bad, ugly and good
Parts of yourself. It is murky, but is clearer
Like the dark and starry sky above you
When you lie down on the soft grass.
You begin to lose the brightness and blue
Sky but you get a look through the glass.
It is for the people who are fearless, brave
And not afraid of anything or anyone, not
Even the demons. Do not let it enslave
You or let it become something that brought
You down to your knees and a prayer.
It is more than a simple and cold touch.
Darkness is everything that is threadbare,
Warm and worn out. It is not a crutch.

Deep Kind of Love

I have been a big fan of the water and we will talk about that in another post some other time. I want to talk about that deep water metaphor thing right here. I know that I have talked about deep emotions, whether it is love or something else. I also know that I have talked about being in love at least once. Love, just like any other emotion or feeling is deep or complicated or both of those things. Together, can be a deep complicated mess and yes, I just made that up. I crave to be around people who love deep and hard. Why? Because I am like that person too. Lao Tzu says that “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” I think that deep type of love is scary and terrifying, but sometimes you just have to dive right in because if you will not do that, who else would?

We all have parts of ourselves that are hidden and below the surface. Like I said you just have to dive deep. That brings me to my next quote which explains what I have been talking about. “Everyone is deep but most are afraid to dive.” Some of the best things, including love, are wonderful and amazing. I want to talk about the other end of the spectrum, being in the shallow end. Those types of things are right on the surface or easy to find. There is nothing wrong with people who are in the shallow end, but those people are the ones who area afraid to go deeper. You have to make that decision for yourself in what end you want to be in because sometimes you cannot be in both, especially at the same time. Christopher Reeve says that in this quote. “Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.” Sometimes there is a difference between the two.

I conclude this post by strongly encouraging my readers to think about those two different versions of love. It is either that type of love that is deep or is a type of love that is shallow and not so deep. There is nothing wrong with choosing one or the other. I will leave that decision up to you, but I would strongly encourage to go for the deep type of love because it could last longer and does always leave you so empty. It is good to have someone you can have deep conversations with. Shallowness is not always appealing and does not always leave you satisfied, but that is just my own personal opinion. Whatever you decide, stick with it and enjoy the ride. May you find the love you always wanted to have. Deepness almost always gives you that connection, which is what life is about. Since there is a lot to be said about this topic, I will include 2 different pieces. Just a side note that Deepness, Part II is a working title because I wrote a poem for Part I, but Part II is a rework of the original piece. I will let the pieces speak for themselves. I know that there is so much more I can say about this subject matter, but that about does it for now. Cheers.

Deep Love

Any other girl could begging for your attention,
But you only want and have mine.
You never even try to mention

Those before me because you only intertwine
Our hands and hearts together, but
It was never with theirs. I try to trust the sign

That we are finally out of this deep rut,
But people will always try to follow
And tear us apart. We shut

Out those who do anything to hollow
Us out. They never dive deep
And only play around in the shallow

End. The love and willingness will seep
Through more than the doubts ever will.
We must always try to keep

A firm grip on a future that will fill
With happiness and hope for raising
A family together. We have things that are still

Within reach. Life can turn out to be amazing
With the right person while the wrong people just
Fade away. Everything around us will be blazing.

Deepness, Part II

I want deep and long conversations at 2 AM. Random drives
At night, blasting the music when we cannot go to sleep.
Darling, put away your sharp instruments and knifes.

You have a kind of love and connection that I want to keep
Around forever. I know that life gets dull and boring, but
I want to spend time lying under the sky, getting a peep

Of the real you. I want to know what you see when you shut
Your eyes and picture your life. I want to know every dream
And fear you hold onto. Darling, I hope that when you put

Out your hand you would trust me with it. Your stream
Of thoughts and ideas are safe. I am not the one to judge
You, but together I hope that we will become a team

And trust each other. Do not wash away the smudge
Or freckle because it shows that you have imperfections.
We are moving on ahead with a small push and nudge.

People might think we are moving in opposite directions
When we know we are both going exactly the same way.
We know that we can be perfect and mirror reflections

Of each other or darling, we will find a way to stay
Different. Life is no longer on a stage or in a play.

Old Drama

Remember when I talked way back when about leaving things behind? Well… one of those things that we have to leave behind is old drama. I do not know about you all, but I got teased relentlessly throughout middle school and high school. Those people who teased me, I do not associate myself with them anymore or at least I try not to. The worst thing is that they pretend to be your friend and do not remember that they treated you terribly back then. Yes, I am a person who loves drama, but that only comes in the form of theatre and performance drama. Trust me, I have dealt with drama, especially coming from a huge family, especially on my mom’s side. Someone is always talking about someone or not speaking to someone or spreading rumors. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Sounds like high school all over again. Please, I know we are back in high school with this bullshit, pardon my language. Two things I will not tolerate; those are fake people and old drama.

That brings me into my next point of combing the two. I do not have the time, nor the patience to be dealing with those kinds of people. That brings me to this…which is best explained in this quote. “Sometimes those who don’t socialize much aren’t anti-social, they just have no tolerance for drama and fake people.” The worst assumption that people can make about me and people who are very similar in this regard is that we are anti-social. We still deal with people, just not those who are trying to bring us down and I will take more about the type of people we should be around in a different post…later down the road. That is why I only associate myself with some people from school, especially middle school and high school. That brings me into my next quote. “Drama just does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate it.” In other words, do not let drama come into your life. It will give you headaches and things you do not want in the long run.

I know that I keep telling people this, but walk away. However, this time I am saying to walk away from drama. You should never try to associate yourself with drama. That brings me into my next quote which says “Real people avoid drama. They know their time is too precious. and choose not to waste it on unimportant people.” Sometimes I should take my own advice. Do not walk right into drama either. Those people who create drama thrive off of it, so do not give them that satisfaction. I just wanted to thank an old friend of mine from middle school, Ms. Sareena, who inspired this poem. You taught me a valuable lesson of never entertaining or being fooled by old drama. The best thing to do is to extend an olive branch and forgive. However, if they do not take it and want to bring up old drama, then walk away. Keep walking and never look back. I hate to be harsh, but those people do not deserve to be in your life. Cheers and remember that you should try to live your life as drama free as possible.

Leave the Drama Behind

Do not be fooled by the old
Drama and by people who think
They know you. They acted cold
Towards you while they wink
At you now, thinking that you are still
Friends. Darling, they are dumb
Enough to want to catch up and fill
The space with stories, but some
People never change. They want
The gossip and the latest scoop,
Not knowing that every taunt
Still echoes. Go ahead and snoop
Because you have nothing to hide.
In fact you have been way more
Successful while they want to ride
With you to the top. They swore
To be your friend, but they
Have become masters at telling
Lies. Never let them get their way
And become manipulators. Swelling
With pride is their way of being
Secretly envious. They want your
Life because they are finally seeing
They are going nowhere fast. Before
You let them watch you fail, succeed
So hard that they have to doubt
Themselves. You will find no need
To satisfy them. Their drought
Is your garden, watered with hunger
And motivation to live above
The drama. You are not any younger,
Living in a world lacking love
And respect because those people
Will still love you, but you also find
Forgiveness under the same steeple.
Leave the hurt and scars behind
Where they belong. Right their
Wrongs even when they are
Far from being sorry. Clear the air
And leave it at that. Be a bright star.

Being a Second Choice and Backup Plan

I know that I have not posted for a while and I want to apologize for that. Anyways…I want to start off by talking about why this post topic is important because it is not as simple as it sounds and it is definitely a lesson we can all learn. Let me start off by talking about where I got this idea from. When I was an undergraduate at McDaniel College I was in an on and off “relationship” with this guy for about 1 to 2 years or so. To be honest, I was relieved when it was all over. The point is that while this guy and I were in this so called “relationship” or whatever you want to call it, he was always constantly choosing himself, as well as other people and things over me. He was pretty much making me his second choice and backup plan. It sucked because I wanted to mean something as much as he did to me, but it did not work out that way. This is going to sound harsh, but that was his choice and decision. He was making no effort to make me his priority and that hurt a lot. After that kind of relationship happened I promised myself to never try to put myself in that kind of situation ever again because it was not worth it. It taught me to never force someone to make that choice.

The whole point of all of this is to say that you should never settle to be someone’s second choice or backup plan. I just want to tell everyone that we are worth way more than that. That just does not regard a romantic or traditional relationship, but for friends as well as family and other types of relationships. Consider this following quote as a mantra to remember and it can last you a lifetime, I can guarantee that. “I’m not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice.” I want my readers to remember that because being someone’s back up plan or second choice is not a good feeling at all. In fact, sometimes it hurts more when you do not even become someone’s choice to begin with. Do not take it personally because it is on them and not on you. In other words, there is nothing more you can do and you deserve to be someone’s priority, no matter what.

In fact here is a quote to explain what you should do if someone ever starts treating you that way. “When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It’s that simple.” That is going to sound harsh, I know, but you sometimes have to do it. I get it if it something reasonable, but if they always treat you like an option and a choice then you have to walk away. You have to take yourself out of the situation, no matter how much it hurts to do so. That is what I strongly conclude to my readers… walk away if they start treating you that way. It is a survival mechanism and works in the long run. It is good for your own health so that you do not have to constantly worry about them and you at the same time. They have issues to sort through and you all should leave it at that. Hang in there and realize that I am right there with you. Just a side note…this poem implies a romantic type of relationship, but it can be used for almost any situation you find yourself in.

Her Over Me

You did not choose me because you always
Chose her or someone else over me. Maybe
Our stolen moments and your secret gaze
At me were not enough for us. When you see
Her instead of me, it hurts more than it should.
I thought we had something special, but the daggers
And harsh words came out instead of the good
Ones. The big and revealing truth staggers
Instead of standing up straight. I hated you for
The way you made me feel. It was like we had
A chance, but it was ruined. It was your
Lies and dishonesty that made me really mad
Like a thunderstorm. I could no longer stand
To look at you because everything came back.
I wanted something more than holding hands
And secrets. Darling, I wanted to black
Out and forget it all like none of it never
Happened. You always make it look so easy,
By pulling the trigger, plug and lever
On all we had. How can you not be so queasy?
But I guess you never really cared about me after
All so it was a simple solution. I never got
To see your smile or hear your laughter
And the reality is that you never once thought
To fight for me every single day while I was so
Wrapped up in you. I had to watch everything go.